clothes matter both a lot and not at all + get my weekly input on your wardrobe
The Making Space group program is now open for enrollment! There are very few spaces where women are given permission to actually talk about getting our bodies dressed: the frustrations, the grief, the logistical nightmare of it all. This is that space. I save 12 spots (1 has already been taken) and together, we meet weekly to define your style, edit your wardrobe, and learn how to shop, but mostly we meet to share our experience with others and see how much of it is shared *by* others. The name of the program has several meanings to me: we can literally make space in our wardrobe by letting go of things that no longer serve us, we can make space in our minds by letting go of fashion rules that harm us, we can give ourselves permission to physically make and take up space instead of shrinking ourselves and our needs to fit the space society has allotted to us.
The concept of both/and often comes up. How can clothes matter both a lot and not at all? Well, sometimes I think clothes matter a lot. I want everyone to have the experience of feeling good in their clothes, of wearing an outfit that makes them feel good, that they feel themselves in. We have to get dressed every day and it’s something we do every day that can have an impact on our mood. In particular, if you’re wearing clothes that don’t fit, it can really make you feel terrible. It’s important.
And also, clothes aren’t important at all. What if you’re wearing an outfit that isn’t the fullest embodiment of your personal style? What if you’re wearing something you don’t love? What happens then? Mostly, nothing, especially if we don’t make it mean something. It shouldn’t matter because our clothes don’t define us. Who we are as people isn’t determined by what we wear. It can’t be, because as we know, there are many barriers to being able to show up as yourself in your clothes (cultural expectations, financial constraints, size accessibility). And so, clothes also aren’t that important.
If you enjoy the process of thinking about what you’re wearing, clothes may matter to you. If you don’t enjoy it, and prefer to think as little as possible about clothes, then they aren’t that important. And for some of us, some days clothes are important and some days they’re not.
In addition to lofty conversations like this one, there’s lots of practical advice in Making Space. Every week there are pre-recorded videos to watch and exercises to complete in our workbook. In our live group sessions, I’ll give individual feedback to participants: looking at specific pinterest boards and suggesting descriptive words, responding to individual items of clothing the participant is having trouble letting go of and sussing out the reasons why, and making suggestions on where to find specific items on participants’ shopping list. If you’ve enjoyed my approach to clothes here on Substack and ever wanted my eye on your own issues, this is the place to get it. This spring, we’ll be meeting via Zoom on Tuesdays at 7pm Eastern Time, for 8 weeks, from 4/2/24-5/21/24, and the cost is $797.
Only for my Substack community, and only for the next 2 days (until midnight 3/28/24), use code SUBSTACK to get $100 off of Making Space here. I’d love to have you. If it’s not a good fit for you, I’d be really grateful if you could share this info with anyone who might benefit.
ICYMI1: I was recently quoted in Lifehacker AND The Strategist! My post analyzing whether Queer Eye is anti-fat or not got a lot of attention. If the Making Space group is too far out of your budget, don’t forget I have low priced mini-courses as well. I’ve been doing lots of podcast recordings, including with Leah Kern (
), Madison Morrigan (), and our beloved (look for an upcoming Unflattering x Burnt Toast style challenge!) and of course I’ll let you know when those release.In case you missed it
The questions I posted on social media last week:
Is it ever more?
What if it's all just clothes?