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Heather Mari's avatar

I love this reflection. I am sewing a wardrobe for myself and dismantling the idea of "flattering" has been a core part of that so that I can choose the patterns that I enjoy, versus those that someone with my proportions "should" wear. I remember priding myself in choosing a flowy woven top I loved rather than the stretchy knit tops I'd worn for years while trying to appear smaller. But when I asked an advanced sewer why I had drag lines at my shoulders, she let me know I had chosen a size or even two sizes too small for my large bust. And I know, subconsciously, I did it out of a lingering fear that a flowy top would make me appear larger than I am. I was afraid to give up privilege by appearing more top-heavy than the body hierarchy's ideal. This stuff's going to take so so long to unpack and let go. But I'm glad to have started.

Jess K's avatar

Ooof. I straightened my hair for so many years after a friend told me my faced looked thinner when my hair was straight versus when I wore my naturally curly hair. I went back to wearing my hair curly maybe 10 years ago and am so glad I did. But that little comment still sticks with me when I look in the mirror.

Thank you for sharing this post!

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