Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Jess K's avatar

Ooof. I straightened my hair for so many years after a friend told me my faced looked thinner when my hair was straight versus when I wore my naturally curly hair. I went back to wearing my hair curly maybe 10 years ago and am so glad I did. But that little comment still sticks with me when I look in the mirror.

Thank you for sharing this post!

Expand full comment
Heather Mari's avatar

I love this reflection. I am sewing a wardrobe for myself and dismantling the idea of "flattering" has been a core part of that so that I can choose the patterns that I enjoy, versus those that someone with my proportions "should" wear. I remember priding myself in choosing a flowy woven top I loved rather than the stretchy knit tops I'd worn for years while trying to appear smaller. But when I asked an advanced sewer why I had drag lines at my shoulders, she let me know I had chosen a size or even two sizes too small for my large bust. And I know, subconsciously, I did it out of a lingering fear that a flowy top would make me appear larger than I am. I was afraid to give up privilege by appearing more top-heavy than the body hierarchy's ideal. This stuff's going to take so so long to unpack and let go. But I'm glad to have started.

Expand full comment
16 more comments...

No posts