my best tip for defining your style
Coming to a clear definition of your personal style isn’t easy. It’s an ongoing process. Here’s one tip that can help:
When creating a mood board or Pinterest board (a necessary step in defining your style!), don’t censor yourself. Don’t rule out images based on whether they would “work” for your body or your life. Go based on your gut instinct about how you feel about the image. Does it look cool to you? Does it resonate for you? Do you like it? That’s all you need, you don’t even have to know why. No thought, no judgement, just instinct. All the thinking brain stuff, like analyzing the collection of images and translating it to your body or your life can come later. The first step is to create a collection of images that you just like the look of, no justifications needed.
Unfortunately, all the looks you like will probably be presented on thin white bodies (although Pinterest has been working behind the scenes for a couple of years to try to make this better. Have any of you noticed this and/or found it helpful?). So, the next step, after creating a collection of looks you love and figuring out what drew you to them, is to create another collection with those same styles on bodies like yours. I make a conscious effort to pin a diversity of bodies and the algorhythm now feeds me more of the same.
Normalize looking at normal bodies. 1
Do you have a style Pinterest board? How have you chosen the images on it? Have you chosen them based on what you like or what you’ve been told “works” for you?
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Over 8 weeks, we’ll work through all of those issues with weekly meetings of a supportive group of women working through the same stuff. We start on Tuesday!! Use code SUBSTACK to get $100 offand feel free to DM me here on Substack if you have any questions about the program.
I know I’ll get pushback about using the word normal here, and feel free to post a comment regarding this usage. Thin bodies are just as normal as mid sized and larger bodies, but it isn’t normal to only see thin bodies, as has been the case for most media over the last 150 years.
One thing I find getting in my way is fabric textures. I find myself pinning a lot of tulle skirts and lacy things, but know I can’t stand how they would feel on my skin. I love an organic cotton, and soft poly blends but find that they don’t usually create the most beautiful outfits.
You reminded me to return to my board. I'm celebrating an anniversary of sorts today and wanted to treat myself to something to wear (going out to fancy smansy dinner tonight). I found a beautiful cotton, A-line skirt in just the right length. I bought it. How often did I wear a skirt this winter? Three times. Does a white A-line skirt make an appearance on any of my myriad Pinterest boards? Nope. Not one. Am I committed to revamping my wardrobe so that it's not so conservative? I thought so, but damnit, I bought the skirt! Time to revisit everything we discussed. Back to the board.
And I should say that I just made an online impulse buy of a dusty pink, tailored, linen skirt. I'll sit on that one for 24 hours and probably cancel. The thing is, though, that I did it.