Style AMA: maternity, color, poshmark, evolving styles and more

In this month’s AMA (ask me anything), I’m changing it up a bit this time and answering more questions with shorter answers. 

I'd love some ideas on ways to develop a small and effective maternity wardrobe!

My main advice for maternity dressing is to add as you go. We all want to buy ahead, but for this situation (and for kid’s clothes as well), it’s better to wait until you need the item to buy it. Otherwise, your body (or your kid’s) may not be the size you expected it to be at that stage. So buy some leggings, a dress, a couple tops, maybe some jeans to start with. Layering pieces will work the whole time and for after as well, feel free to get a few of those. Then, when those things start to make your skin crawl, add in a few new items. Personally, I had to buy all new stuff in month 8 because none of my maternity stuff fit at that point. Go laugh at my early, early blog posts - these are all the posts about my maternity wardrobe.

I don’t know if it’s in your wheelhouse but styling some things is a challenge for me. Some people look great in a button down tied in a knot but I feel like it just looks off on me. I also love scarves in the winter and primarily wear them one way. I like to add some color or fun and it never feels quite right.

I have a couple of thoughts about this. The first is that if something isn’t working, just move on. Trust your instinct and know that you don’t feel comfortable with whatever version you have. I’m really good at fixing or diagnosing the problem with this stuff in person or over zoom, but it’s hard to answer this question well without seeing it. However, regarding scarves, enjoy this old post with my two favorite ways to tie scarves. I just led a client through them over zoom the other day. 

I am curious to hear more about your style evolution. I know you've been dressing up more lately to work from home. How does that work with also having young children? Would also love any tips you have for selling items on Poshmark. I want to start but am intimidated by it all.

One of the most important things to remember if you try to define your style is that it will constantly evolve. There was a serious period there where I was convinced I was going to build the most timeless French wardrobe of classic quality pieces, but that’s just not realistic. Our tastes change, our lifestyles change, and of course our bodies change. 

I think because of a combination of it being a few years since the pandemic started and my kids finally reaching an age where they don’t need constant supervision, I started craving something a little more modern and minimal and with a slightly cleaner lines than the more relaxed linen vibe I’d been wearing for four or five years. I always start with visual inspiration, so I started pinning outfits I liked on Pinterest. You don’t have to look through all 3000 pins on my style board 😳, but even if you just scroll a bit, you’ll see the evolution. 

As for wearing slightly nicer outfits with children, most of the items I’ve added are still thrifted or not too precious. I try to wear my clothes so they get used and not “save” them. If something happens, so be it. However, I’m still going to change if we’re doing something where I might get messy and I still change into “comfy” clothes when my work day is over.

Don’t be intimidated by selling on Poshmark. The actual process is as easy as posting something on social media. If you bought something recently, try and find the stock photo of it and use that in your listing. Take clear photos of front and back. Take item measurements with the garment lying flat (bust, waist, hip, inseam). Expect to only get a fraction of what you paid, but list the item for a little higher than you’d end up with so that you can offer discounts and price drops or be open to offers. Sometimes stuff never sells, and you just donate it and that’s ok too. 

How do you or do you, challenge yourself to ever pick different styles of clothing? I feel like I gravitate to the same old, same old and want to define my style a bit more. I recently dated someone that helped me think out of the box and since they’re not in my life anymore I’m finding it hard to venture out again.

Do you actually want to wear something different or do you just feel like you should? I often have clients who think they don’t have style or that their style is boring, but it’s just that they like really simple, classic stuff. The fact that you gravitate to the same thing is a sign that you know your style and you know what you like. Obviously, you don’t need to keep buying black tees when you already have 10, but consider that gravitating toward the same thing is not necessarily a negative. If that’s not it and you want to play around with your style, that’s awesome! As I said above, I always start with visual inspiration. Collect some images. What are small details that you could try? Try thrifting a few things that feel like a stretch and see how it actually feels when you wear them. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge that some things just won’t feel comfortable to wear. There’s wanting to evolve and then there’s pushing yourself too hard. Figure out where you are. 

What do you think about clothes-shopping moratoriums (just work with what you have for a period of time)?

I think this can be a great idea, depending on the reasoning behind it. Obviously, I don’t condone working with what you have if it doesn’t fit. Otherwise, I do feel like limiting yourself in this way is a good way to collect data: what do you end up wearing most? What do you never reach for? What do you wish you had? If you’re trying to define your style or shift your shopping habits, this is a great way to give yourself more time to let these changes sink in. If you’d like help, I have a free email series that leads you through a Purchase Pause.

I find that I am occasionally drawn to clothes that are more fun --colorful, or a little more whimsical or playful -- than my normal day-to-day wear. These don’t have a lot of staying power in my closet over the long term; I wear them through a season but then not much more after that. How do you balance a clothes purchase that is more “fun” but less sustainable with choices that are maybe more restrained and/or neutral that will last through multiple seasons?

Most people get bored without a little variety or personality in their clothes, so this makes sense and isn’t something to feel guilty about. Pass it on when you’re done, and if you can buy it secondhand in the first place, even better. In contrast, you might have staple items like jeans, boots, or jackets that you expect to wear over and over again.

Want to submit a question for my next AMA? Become a paid subscriber!

---

I’ll be repeating my Stress Free Shopping Workshop on September 15th at 1pm ET. We’ll talk about how past experiences have shaped your present frustrations, realistic expectations for shopping, how to make sense of sizing, and I’ll answer your questions live. You’ll also receive access to my retailer spreadsheet, a living document that can be sorted by size and price range, and that has only previously been available to those at the Substack founder level. The price is $47, and will go up to $67 after that day. There will be a recording available. Please join me!

---