Any advice for summer travel? We're going to New York City in August. Usually, our trips are more outdoorsy and I just wear my running shoes with shorts and a t-shirt. We'll be going to museums, maybe seeing a show, and doing more touristy things. I haven't been to NYC in years and I'm really excited to go! But unsure what to wear?!
Any advice for those of us who would love to wear fun jewelry, but are allergic to most metals? I can't wear anything (stainless steel, nickel, copper, silver, gold, white gold) for more than an hour or so without developing a rash. I've had some success with medical-grade titanium and niobium earrings. Unfortunately, that leaves me with very few style options, and even less when it comes to necklaces and rings. I love things that are fairly unique, but struggle to find anything I can wear that isn't simple and boring or so over-the-top that I would never wear it. Thanks!
I am sensing a personal style shift away from "Brooklyn Ms. Frizzle" and into something a bit more sophisticated, while still colorful, and dopamine-driven. What are your tips for looking "put together"/styled? Also see: modern haircuts that don't require a lot of upkeep?!
Underwear recommendations? TBH I hate wearing underwear, particularly under athleisure or actual workout clothes (which is 70+ % of my wardrobe). I’m prone to cysts on my bikini line area as well as ingrown hairs and basically any kind of bump (TMI?), so I can’t do anything with tight elastic or lace trim. Not a fan of VPLs so prefer seamless or whatever. I will wear thongs but I’m going to be having twins in the next month so I’ll need something with more coverage. Prefer natural materials, need to be able to throw them in the washing machine and the dryer, and would love to not spend $50 a pair.
I have another question! How are those made-to-order jeans (or other clothing) sites like Neems or Sumissura? They can't be any worse than the fit of any off-the-rack clothing at the same price, right? My last pair of jeans was $200, which I was willing to spend ... but then they wore through as fast as a pair of $45 jeans. I know all the problems with the fit and wear of women's jeans, but when they are good, I love the way I look and feel in them. So maybe custom fit is the way to go?
Hi! I am a little embarrassed to be asking this.... But how do people return stuff? It is such a huge barrier for me and I end up 1) not experimenting with multiple sizes and 2) keeping stuff I don't like. Do you keep mailers for this purpose? How do you print labels? Ugh, do I have to get a printer?!?! Post office vs UPS, etc. Lol.
I’d love ideas for non-athleisure playground outfits. I spend so much time doing kid-oriented activities and I default into athleisure, which was never really part of my style before. It still doesn’t feel like “style” to me, it feels like defaulting. So yeah - comfortable, movable outfit ideas!
When shopping for something really specific that seems to defy search engines, what do you do?
I’m looking for a purse that’s tall enough to hold an insulated stainless steel water bottle and wide enough to hold a specific medical device that I have to carry with me. I have specific material requirements and colors. If I try using measurements, I get junk answers, if I try tall, it’s too narrow but if I try big, it’s too big like a laptop bag or overnight bag. I can’t look at every purse in my price range on the internet! I’ve had this happen with certain clothes and shoes especially. It makes me feel both too picky and like I’m doing it wrong.
-it has to zip closed so that if you turned it upside down nothing would fall out with a quality zipper
-it has to have shorter carrying handles not just a shoulder strap, if it has a shoulder strap in addition to shorter carrying handles, prefer removable shoulder strap
-material has to be at least somewhat water resistant leather or leather like preferred, or something else similarly professional looking (not a shiny vinyl beach bag) and ideally some structure so it isn’t just a floppy piece of material with a cavernous opening. It doesn’t need a lot of internal pockets but the ability to have some rigidity to the sides so it stands up would be ideal
-color black or black with neutral accents (white, silver, gold, possibly a light brown like taupe)
-Price range: ideally under $50, but for a sturdy very good match willing to go closer to $75 (typically look at places like JC Penney, Kohl’s, Walmart, Target, Marshals, TJ Maxx, Ross, Amazon where this price point is more than feasible, just can’t find anything)
How many bags do you own? And can I find a stylish bag that also has the capacity to hold a paperback book (something I have with me at literally all times)?
How do I find spring/fall tops that are at least somewhat natural fibers? I am happy with my wool and cotton sweaters in the winter and with cotton and linen and t-shirts in the summer. But in the spring and fall (in Maryland), I'm either too hot or too cold, and the few lightweight long-sleeve sweaters I have cling too much around my belly and also somehow ride up (why? how?). I know the answer is layers, but even then I have the hot/cold dichotomy, or ruining the look of a cute shirt with a non-matching jacket or cardigan.
After ruthlessly culling my summer wardrobe, I am rebuilding from minimal items. Summer in Texas also happens to be my least favorite season to dress for by far. I'm having trouble reconciling what "sparks recognition" (love how you put that) on my Pinterest board vs online shopping. I created a new style inspo board on Pinterest after reading/listening to your sage advice; and it lights me up when I scroll through it. But translating that board to my closet is proving challenging. I started an "items I reach for that I don't have" list and do my best to focus on an item at a time. But sometimes (probably often?) items will come across as I'm browsing - for instance, the Shift + Wheeler green linen dress - that HITS and I stare at the screenshot for weeks/months agonizing (the drama) over whether to pull the trigger. But a green linen dress is not necessarily on that board. However, green is a color I love and love to wear, linen is on my "reach for but don't have" list, midi/maxi dresses are on my Pinterest board - although trousers beat out dresses. I feel as if I should save that money towards something else (like pants) when this happens, especially when the item in question is $200. Am I just overthinking this to death?? Which is like, my main personality trait. Do I just need to give myself permission?
I am a short-story-long kind of person and I feel like I'm not reinventing the wheel with all this, thank you for your patience. (I am an unflattering member)
Looking for advice on sewing patterns (since I just got a SERGER
and I’m starting to sell my own clothes for the first time since I was a teenager!): any recommendations for specific patterns or pattern companies? I’ll take style as well as fit recommendations… Since I’ve heard from some folks that the vintage patterns at some point stopped using actual women’s bodies as their reference point!
Years ago, I realized that I'd spent my entire life dressing for the male gaze and decided I was done with that. Since then, I have gotten divorced and am now moving back into dating men. (I really wish dating women was an option, but I'm sadly just not made that way.) I'm not considering overcorrecting and trying to go all kinds of Jessica Rabbit or anything, but I am re-evaluating a bit. I don't want to enter into a relationship that is predicated on my dressing for the male gaze, but at the same time I'm considering if I want to make any adjustments to broaden the pool of potential partners and create more circumstances for that initial spark of physical attraction.
So, not really a question per se, but I'd be interested to hear what this stirs up for you and if you have any thoughts.
I’m very aware of and onboard with the messages in these comments. But I feel like my question has been missed. I’ve been dressing for me. And I like dressing for me. And now I’m in a different place in my life and I’m trying to wrestle with the tension of wanting to date men while disregarding the male gaze. It’s very simple to say ‘who cares, do you, don’t dress for anyone else’. But I feel like that’s not terribly realistic. I feel like there are inevitably some trade offs and accommodations that are required in dating and relationships. And why is how you dress not at all a factor in that? Why is it not also part of the whole thing of creating opportunities to meet someone? And figuring out in what ways and to what extent you’re willing to flex to meet them where they are and where you aren’t?
I want to spread the word about dressing for oneself, giving the middle finger to fashion rules dictated by white supremacy/patriarchy, believing that all bodies are good bodies and all bodies can wear cool clothes, etc. What are your gentle, 101 ways to suggest these different perspectives? Not everyone is ready to hear me yell this from the rooftops. How can I whisper it subtly - just to plant a seed?
I was telling a very fashionable friend about you this weekend. She said, “does she teach you how to dress for your body type?” I said, “no, in fact, she thinks we shouldn’t worry about that at all. We should dress however makes us happy, regardless.” And she was like, “sure, but there are certain styles that look better on certain bodies.” And I wanted to yell YOU ONLY THINK THAT BECAUSE OF MISOGYNY AND THE PATRIARCHY!!!
Hi, I love high-waisted jeans. is there a trick to find a fit that doesn’t roll ? I carry some weight in my lower belly so that might add to the problem. Any suggestions much appreciated. (I’m in the membership. )
Any advice for summer travel? We're going to New York City in August. Usually, our trips are more outdoorsy and I just wear my running shoes with shorts and a t-shirt. We'll be going to museums, maybe seeing a show, and doing more touristy things. I haven't been to NYC in years and I'm really excited to go! But unsure what to wear?!
Any advice for those of us who would love to wear fun jewelry, but are allergic to most metals? I can't wear anything (stainless steel, nickel, copper, silver, gold, white gold) for more than an hour or so without developing a rash. I've had some success with medical-grade titanium and niobium earrings. Unfortunately, that leaves me with very few style options, and even less when it comes to necklaces and rings. I love things that are fairly unique, but struggle to find anything I can wear that isn't simple and boring or so over-the-top that I would never wear it. Thanks!
I am sensing a personal style shift away from "Brooklyn Ms. Frizzle" and into something a bit more sophisticated, while still colorful, and dopamine-driven. What are your tips for looking "put together"/styled? Also see: modern haircuts that don't require a lot of upkeep?!
Oh! And any good labels/brands that make classic tailored preppy petite plus size clothes for women 60+? Asking for my mama.
Underwear recommendations? TBH I hate wearing underwear, particularly under athleisure or actual workout clothes (which is 70+ % of my wardrobe). I’m prone to cysts on my bikini line area as well as ingrown hairs and basically any kind of bump (TMI?), so I can’t do anything with tight elastic or lace trim. Not a fan of VPLs so prefer seamless or whatever. I will wear thongs but I’m going to be having twins in the next month so I’ll need something with more coverage. Prefer natural materials, need to be able to throw them in the washing machine and the dryer, and would love to not spend $50 a pair.
I have another question! How are those made-to-order jeans (or other clothing) sites like Neems or Sumissura? They can't be any worse than the fit of any off-the-rack clothing at the same price, right? My last pair of jeans was $200, which I was willing to spend ... but then they wore through as fast as a pair of $45 jeans. I know all the problems with the fit and wear of women's jeans, but when they are good, I love the way I look and feel in them. So maybe custom fit is the way to go?
Hi! I am a little embarrassed to be asking this.... But how do people return stuff? It is such a huge barrier for me and I end up 1) not experimenting with multiple sizes and 2) keeping stuff I don't like. Do you keep mailers for this purpose? How do you print labels? Ugh, do I have to get a printer?!?! Post office vs UPS, etc. Lol.
such a good question and one i have so many answers for!
I’d love ideas for non-athleisure playground outfits. I spend so much time doing kid-oriented activities and I default into athleisure, which was never really part of my style before. It still doesn’t feel like “style” to me, it feels like defaulting. So yeah - comfortable, movable outfit ideas!
When shopping for something really specific that seems to defy search engines, what do you do?
I’m looking for a purse that’s tall enough to hold an insulated stainless steel water bottle and wide enough to hold a specific medical device that I have to carry with me. I have specific material requirements and colors. If I try using measurements, I get junk answers, if I try tall, it’s too narrow but if I try big, it’s too big like a laptop bag or overnight bag. I can’t look at every purse in my price range on the internet! I’ve had this happen with certain clothes and shoes especially. It makes me feel both too picky and like I’m doing it wrong.
Can you let me know your requirement specifics?
Purse requirements
-measurements in inches 12 H by 6 W by 11 L
-it has to zip closed so that if you turned it upside down nothing would fall out with a quality zipper
-it has to have shorter carrying handles not just a shoulder strap, if it has a shoulder strap in addition to shorter carrying handles, prefer removable shoulder strap
-material has to be at least somewhat water resistant leather or leather like preferred, or something else similarly professional looking (not a shiny vinyl beach bag) and ideally some structure so it isn’t just a floppy piece of material with a cavernous opening. It doesn’t need a lot of internal pockets but the ability to have some rigidity to the sides so it stands up would be ideal
-color black or black with neutral accents (white, silver, gold, possibly a light brown like taupe)
-Price range: ideally under $50, but for a sturdy very good match willing to go closer to $75 (typically look at places like JC Penney, Kohl’s, Walmart, Target, Marshals, TJ Maxx, Ross, Amazon where this price point is more than feasible, just can’t find anything)
How many bags do you own? And can I find a stylish bag that also has the capacity to hold a paperback book (something I have with me at literally all times)?
How do I figure out how many pairs/types of shoes do I need without falling into buying whatever is trendy every season?
How do I find spring/fall tops that are at least somewhat natural fibers? I am happy with my wool and cotton sweaters in the winter and with cotton and linen and t-shirts in the summer. But in the spring and fall (in Maryland), I'm either too hot or too cold, and the few lightweight long-sleeve sweaters I have cling too much around my belly and also somehow ride up (why? how?). I know the answer is layers, but even then I have the hot/cold dichotomy, or ruining the look of a cute shirt with a non-matching jacket or cardigan.
After ruthlessly culling my summer wardrobe, I am rebuilding from minimal items. Summer in Texas also happens to be my least favorite season to dress for by far. I'm having trouble reconciling what "sparks recognition" (love how you put that) on my Pinterest board vs online shopping. I created a new style inspo board on Pinterest after reading/listening to your sage advice; and it lights me up when I scroll through it. But translating that board to my closet is proving challenging. I started an "items I reach for that I don't have" list and do my best to focus on an item at a time. But sometimes (probably often?) items will come across as I'm browsing - for instance, the Shift + Wheeler green linen dress - that HITS and I stare at the screenshot for weeks/months agonizing (the drama) over whether to pull the trigger. But a green linen dress is not necessarily on that board. However, green is a color I love and love to wear, linen is on my "reach for but don't have" list, midi/maxi dresses are on my Pinterest board - although trousers beat out dresses. I feel as if I should save that money towards something else (like pants) when this happens, especially when the item in question is $200. Am I just overthinking this to death?? Which is like, my main personality trait. Do I just need to give myself permission?
I am a short-story-long kind of person and I feel like I'm not reinventing the wheel with all this, thank you for your patience. (I am an unflattering member)
Looking for advice on sewing patterns (since I just got a SERGER
and I’m starting to sell my own clothes for the first time since I was a teenager!): any recommendations for specific patterns or pattern companies? I’ll take style as well as fit recommendations… Since I’ve heard from some folks that the vintage patterns at some point stopped using actual women’s bodies as their reference point!
Years ago, I realized that I'd spent my entire life dressing for the male gaze and decided I was done with that. Since then, I have gotten divorced and am now moving back into dating men. (I really wish dating women was an option, but I'm sadly just not made that way.) I'm not considering overcorrecting and trying to go all kinds of Jessica Rabbit or anything, but I am re-evaluating a bit. I don't want to enter into a relationship that is predicated on my dressing for the male gaze, but at the same time I'm considering if I want to make any adjustments to broaden the pool of potential partners and create more circumstances for that initial spark of physical attraction.
So, not really a question per se, but I'd be interested to hear what this stirs up for you and if you have any thoughts.
I’m very aware of and onboard with the messages in these comments. But I feel like my question has been missed. I’ve been dressing for me. And I like dressing for me. And now I’m in a different place in my life and I’m trying to wrestle with the tension of wanting to date men while disregarding the male gaze. It’s very simple to say ‘who cares, do you, don’t dress for anyone else’. But I feel like that’s not terribly realistic. I feel like there are inevitably some trade offs and accommodations that are required in dating and relationships. And why is how you dress not at all a factor in that? Why is it not also part of the whole thing of creating opportunities to meet someone? And figuring out in what ways and to what extent you’re willing to flex to meet them where they are and where you aren’t?
I want to spread the word about dressing for oneself, giving the middle finger to fashion rules dictated by white supremacy/patriarchy, believing that all bodies are good bodies and all bodies can wear cool clothes, etc. What are your gentle, 101 ways to suggest these different perspectives? Not everyone is ready to hear me yell this from the rooftops. How can I whisper it subtly - just to plant a seed?
love this!
I was telling a very fashionable friend about you this weekend. She said, “does she teach you how to dress for your body type?” I said, “no, in fact, she thinks we shouldn’t worry about that at all. We should dress however makes us happy, regardless.” And she was like, “sure, but there are certain styles that look better on certain bodies.” And I wanted to yell YOU ONLY THINK THAT BECAUSE OF MISOGYNY AND THE PATRIARCHY!!!
It’s true!!
(I mean that it’s the patriarchy, not that certain styles look better on certain bodies)
Hi, I love high-waisted jeans. is there a trick to find a fit that doesn’t roll ? I carry some weight in my lower belly so that might add to the problem. Any suggestions much appreciated. (I’m in the membership. )