From the vault: how intutive eating and my work overlap
CW: this post makes references to disordered eating and diet culture.
I talk about intuitive eating quite a bit around here. Why? Well, let's start with the basics of intuitive eating:
"Intuitive Eating is about trusting your inner body wisdom to make choices around foods that feel good in your body, without judgment and without influence from diet culture. When we filter out the noise and influence that diet culture presents to us as false truths, we can then truly listen to what our body wants and needs from food."
What if we replace “food” in that statement with “clothes”?
Intuitive (dressing) is about trusting your inner body wisdom to make choices around (clothes) that feel good on your body, without judgment and without influence from the (fashion industry). When we filter out the noise and influence that (ideal standards of beauty) present to us as false truths, we can then truly listen to what our body wants and needs from (our clothes).
Makes sense, right? The way that I like to apply this concept to the work I do is to help clients unpack the messages they’ve been given about what they should wear because of their body and instead listen to themselves and their bodies about what they want to wear.
When you follow an eating plan you see on the internet or in a magazine, you’re taking rules made by someone who has no idea of your actual needs and trying to superimpose it on your life. I mean, the idea that we’ve all been listening to others (who don’t even know us!) tell us what our bodies need, when we could be just listening to our bodies ourselves? It’s no wonder 90+% of diets fail. When you do the same for clothing (listening to what someone who doesn’t know you, your body, or your lifestyle tells you to wear), the results are the same. You end up with a closet full of clothes you don’t even like.
Are you on an intuitive eating journey like me? How has it complicated (or smoothed) your ability to get dressed?
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It makes sense and at the same time it seems limited. If a straight size person prioritizes comfort over the traditional definition of flattering as looking smaller, that person can generally get both physical comfort and still access an image of themselves for themselves and from others that is both validated as worthy and not subject to anti-fat harm, not completely, but at least as compared to a plus size person who is not generally able to do those things. So how does one access a definition of what one likes outside of the context of a society that has created the fashion rules and more importantly when those fashion rules often heavily influence appearance-based discrimination in employment, housing, healthcare, dating, family life, public accommodations etc. I honestly don’t have an answer about how to get beyond this with fashion because it seems so systemic.
I’m a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, and I love the parallel between IE and fashion. Since discovering IE I have been slowly dismantling the limiting beliefs that we have to “conform” to a certain way of dressing, one that aims to bring us closer to the thin ideal. As I enter perimenopause, I’ve also been exploring the roles of ageism and sexuality in fashion. I’m committed to remaining curious and nonjudgmental as I unpack decades of messaging about what is “flattering” and focusing on how I want to feel in clothes rather than on how others perceive me. I also think it’s important to acknowledge the privilege of access for both IE and fashion. People