Style icons from bygone days wore the same thing all the time. Katherine Hepburn pants and white button down shirt, Jane Birkin, jeans and T shirt, etc. We can rename re-wearing as "signature style."
Love this. It made me think of my uncle, who has worn the same sweater every Christmas for as long as I can remember (so about 35 years at this point). Just seeing him in it every year makes me happy and nostalgic, and isn't that a great feeling to conjure with our clothing?
Yes, exactly! I’m sure this is urban legend, but I’ve heard that French women will say something like this, instead of judging for rewearing: “I love that dress on you, I’m so happy to see you wearing it again” or some such.
Dec 5, 2023·edited Dec 5, 2023Liked by Dacy Gillespie
This post brings back 40-year memories of Isabella. Isa was legal counsel for a governor for whom I worked. She was a woman of style. I idolized her. Of course only being 25 years old I hungered for role models. She fit the bill in every way - profession, fashion sense, literary interests, international travel. She and (I forget his name) from the office of another governor were having a fling. One day Isa arrived at our office wearing the same emerald and cobalt colored silk dress she'd worn the day before. 40 years later I remember the dress, what I'd call a "date dress." All I could think was, "Damn, Isa, you didn't have to let all of us know you slept at his house last night. Couldn't you have changed clothes?" She was the talk of the office, mostly because no one thought him worthy of her (she went on to marry a successful novelist with whom she moved to Düsseldorf.) Bottom line. None of our business her sex life or her closet. And she knew it. She strutted that day with an air of class. Secretly I admired her chutzpah. To my surprise, we became friends. When five years later I visited Paris for the first time, she invited me to her home in Germany. Taught me a thing or two about not giving a flying fig how people judge. Also held up the mirror to my ugliness. Not even a scratch of skin off Isabella's nose.
As a work from home mom who often wears whatever I wore to sleep to school drop off, throughout the day, and maaaaybe even again to bed, I can attest that no one really notices or cares (except my four year old who occasionally asks, “why are you wearing your pajamas outside?!” 🫣).
One of my writer-friends bought (maybe had made--she knows cool people who sew) a dress suitable for autumn in the colours of her new book and has worn it to all her “author events”--launch, appearance at blah blah bookstore, evening event at a library, in-person book club visit. And talked about it online--saying “this was one of the smartest things I’ve done.” Genius!
I did the same (more or less: same dress in three colours adaptable with tights for all seasons). It takes a huge unknown out of the equation in what can be a stressful time. Even if nobody shows up, I still look good in that empty bookstore 😊
This is total genius! I should have thought of this when I dressed Virginia for her book tour! Yes, I imagine those events are stress inducing enough without having to worry about what you're wearing. And I especially love the fact that she made a point of talking about it, because it all helps normalize it, and you were clearly inspired as well!
Yes, 1,000% this. My 20 yr old son and I just returned from France yesterday, and he decided in the days we were there that he is focused WAY too much on being super clean with perfect hair and fancy clothing. He has decided to be more French and let his hair get 2 days old and “slightly greasy” even a bit messy and wear simple things that are cut well. He observed that because we are such a car culture (and we live in the ‘burbs with no public transportation) that we want our hair and appearance to be perfect like we just left the bathroom in the morning, while the rest of the world and a few big cities in the US has to actually go OUTDOORS to get from place to place, and they get all wind blown and just roll with it. The same goes for clothing - everyone is wearing black pants and black bottoms with a few different options of shoes - they might add an accessory to make the outfit a bit unique, and they look more refined than anyone with a closet full of outfits from SHEIN (doing BamaRushtoks). He said everyone there looks more simple in a classic and comforting way.
I have never thought about this but it makes so much sense! That maybe the fact that europeans appear more sophisticated is somehow related to functionality in a city. And any thought of SHEIN OR Bama Rushtoks makes me want to tear my hair out! 🤬
I relate strongly to this! I have never owned a car, and it is one of the reasons I dress the way I do. It's not terrible, but it's not corporate-office-glam. Pants that can't be rolled up will get caught in the bike chain. I need to be able to walk some distance in my shoes, so no heels. Pencil skirts are a nuisance because I can neither stride nor pedal in them. My hair is pulled back because it's pointless to coif it carefully and then smash it under a bike helmet. Car culture truly does make a difference!
This is something I'm coming to realize more and more that for me takes precendence - I'd rather pack lightly than wear all my most stylish outfits on a trip, I'd rather be comfortable than wear fancy shoes, etc.
I only buy clothing I can bike in, having switched to biking as my primary transportation years and years ago. I really loved pencil skirts and I have a couple in a stretchy fabric (one with built-in bike shorts underneath, by Betabrand). I can still look sharp without owning as many skirts and pairs of pants as I used to. I also gave up my old "beauty before comfort" shoe purchasing approach and switched it the other way around. I can walk for miles in the dress shoes and boots I own now.
Dec 5, 2023·edited Dec 5, 2023Liked by Dacy Gillespie
I admit to sitting at Parisian outdoor cafes each evening specifically to watch women's wear. Bought the stereotype surrounding French apparel? Sure did. Saw none of it. Your son may have something there.
Dec 5, 2023·edited Dec 5, 2023Liked by Dacy Gillespie
Funny that you should do the male comparison. Earlier this year I accompanied my 26 year old godson to shop for a suit. He'd started a new job that required such. (I was surprised post covid when the world seemed to relax into business casual.) As we talked, him asking my advice, I was emphatic in my "knowledge" that all he'd need throughout his professional career was two black suits. If he wanted to be a fashion plate, he could also buy navy blue and tan, but two finely tailored black suits per season, eight white 100% cotton shirts, comfortable shoes, and an array of boldly colored silk ties was all that was needed. That was my version of the male capsule and that's exactly what we bought. A banker outfit for the new banker. Would I do the same for me? Not a chance. I'm guilty of the patriarchal, consumer driven mindset of fresh outfit daily even though I work from home, participating in only one half-hour meeting a week with one other person who is herself dressed in baseball cap and sweatshirt. In my case what is good for the goose is not good for the gander. I have some brain shifting to do. That said, I love dressing up. Wearing something different and pretty puts a little kick in my step.
Dec 5, 2023·edited Dec 5, 2023Liked by Dacy Gillespie
And the truth for me is that often I don't know. Coming from the northeast, each time I wear white jeans in winter (today) I automatically think, "Here's one against the taboo." I find myself, in the far reaches of my life, giving conscious thought to whether I'm playing into the hands that white, male, wealthy, society dictates to me or am I being my authentic self. Yesterday I bought a collection of essays entitled, "Everyday Something Has Tried to Kill Me and Has Failed" by Kim McLarin. In her blurb Deesha Philyaw writes, "I feel seen at a time when - Black women approaching sixty and beyond - feel invisible and/or seen in the worst possible light." How we show up in our dress is part of that. Even what we wear is a political statement.
We had back-to-back holiday parties this past Friday and Saturday night, and I ended up wearing the same thing both nights (even though the gold sequin bomber jacket was quite memorable!). Although there was a chance there might be crossover in the attendees, I figured it would be a good laugh and a conversation starter with anyone who noticed!
I have one old navy shirt that is literally worn 3x a week. Is comfy, it’s cute, and it goes with everything. The place I actually struggle the most with this is dressing my kids for church?? They would love to wear the same thing every Sunday but I feel so much pressure for them to be in cute new things?? I’m working hard to stop this because they don’t need 10 outfits they only wear once a week. Part of the joy of sizing my closet down is that I have so few options now and I like all of them and I don’t end up changing fifteen times. It’s been such a relief.
I think part of it is that it’s the same people at church every week whereas I see different people during the week so they haven’t seen me? I also think probably some of it comes from my mom who has an absolutely abundant closet and, as the only daughter, I was very much supposed to look cute, especially for church.
I can remember exactly when my worry about this started for me!
Kindergarten was my first out-of-the-house schooling experience. Before that I was at home with my mom and younger brother. Kindergarten was a big deal! I guess before starting school, my Mom had dressed me in whatever was clean and could be easily washed. One day in the fall of kindergarten, I got to school and was settling down at my desk, and another child said with a tone of scorn "you wore that yesterday!" I don't remember what I was wearing, but when I got home that afternoon I told my Mom that I couldn't wear the same thing two days in a row and couldn't wear the same outfit twice in a week because someone would remember. And it clearly was Not Cool. (the beginning of me never looking as if I fit in!)
And I've held that belief ever since. It influences my choices each day: oops, I wore that sweater on Monday, can't wear it again to the office. Already wore those pants this week, need to choose different ones even though no-one who saw me on Tuesday will be around on Friday. When I'm at home I happily rewear the same thing for days until it gets dirty or sweaty. But if I have to go to the office, unique outfits only! Fascinating how early things like that stick.
I am so sorry you had that experience. It does feel like something we’ve been taught (as you clearly were) that we have to do to be cool, or perhaps also to show we had money? I wonder if you can slowly start to introduce rewears into even your work outfits.
I sometimes wonder if in the kindergarten context, it comes from a combination of a) showing that a kid's family is wealthy enough to have a different outfit for every day of the week and b) having everything be clean, implying that the family has someone at home taking care of laundry. Earlier, say my mother's generation, I imagine this was tied up with the ability to afford a washing machine to help the mother of the house.
This has reminded me of a fascinating book I stumbled across and didn't get to read enough of... a study of French laundries in the 1600s-1700s, and how ideas of the creation of a gentlemen were tied up with the ability to get linens sparkling white. That is, having the money to pay someone to launder linens frequently. I should find that book again...
Yes, I think you're right about the factors influencing that. And the laundry story reminds me about the fact that for a long time only very wealthy people wore white, because being able to keep it clean throughout the day was a signifier that they didn't have to do any work.
Well you know where I stand on this Dacy 😜 Same 6-7 black comfy things worn day in, day out until they wear out 🤣 I was always an outfit repeater (I’m sure my adhd / hyperfixation prone mind plays a part in this), but now I’ve totally gone over the threshold of really not caring at all if anyone notices that I buy the same three items in bulk and only wear these in rotations…. (And frankly I think they don’t). Too bad I can’t do turtlenecks (hot flashes / cannot stand things around the neck) or hard pants (soft joggers ftw) because otherwise I would totally do a Steve Jobs and only wear that… always loved that combo.
Oh gosh, I’m late to this post but I love it. I’m wondering if there are any tips to help teens understand and embrace this. Or just learn about fast fashion in general. Or accounts aimed at teens? The level of anxiety my stepdaughter has about planning outfits is worrisome and a big, big part of it is not repeating. (I recognize it sounds very normal for teens to be concerned about clothes and I get it! But it’s occupying a LARGE amount of her executive function brainspace, the amount of math and if/then complexity it takes to avoid repeats. I am sure it’s just doing what it takes to get by in high school but the stress! I wish I could alleviate it for her!)
I'm so sorry I've taken so long to reply to this, but I had it on my list to do because it's such an important question. I'd be curious to ask her what the fear is if she repeats and try to break that down? One of the most impactful books I read around this topic was Overdressed by Elizabeth Cline. I wonder though if it might be better to relate to her through her own medium ;)
this was a search I did on TikTok that had lots of great videos:
I've thought about this so often! A man can just change his tie and no one would blink. How did the expectation for so much variety get imposed on women? (rhetorical question) Thank you for expressing it (and thank you to Virginia Sole-Smith for linking to you from Burnt Toast https://virginiasolesmith.substack.com/p/whats-in-your-bag).
Switching from driving to biking for my primary transportation changed my approach to clothing. All my pants, skirts, dresses, and shoes are comfortable for biking and walking. I added the requirement that all my dresses, jackets and pants have to have pockets and that instantly eliminates a lot of fashion because of the patriarchical anti-pocket history of women's clothing. Boy, does that save me a lot of money!
I try to buy things made of fibers I can wear numerous times without washing, which means a lot of merino wool. I have to go to weeklong conferences and have reduced what I pack to a dress, a pair of pants, a top or two, jacket or two, scarves. I'm wearing the same things and look different every day, which isn't quite the same as wearing the exact same clothing every day but in the vicinity. This required me to break down my old habits of wanting lots of variety and instead be proud of how lightly I can pack. It's so freeing to let go of caring whether someone notices I wore the same jacket twice--which I'm happy to do because I have some signature colors I really love so yes, I'm the woman in the turquoise or teal. Again.
Yes, yes, yes! Sometimes restrictions (in a non punitive, healthy way of course) make the hard decisions for you. Your wardrobe sounds dreamily minimalist. I've also had to come to terms that when traveling, I'm just not going to be my most stylish self, because packing lightly is more of a priority! Glad you're here.
After reading this, I've been rewearing my favorite clothes at work this week, even though I wore them last week. I don't know where I got the idea that I need two to three week of office outfits. The dudes I work with definitely wear clothes and shoes that are so worn out, they should toss them -- like a thrift store wouldn't even want them.
I know there’s an idea that you shouldn’t be seen in the same outfit multiple times. But it seems dated to me. I don’t know anyone, not anyone in my life who has subscribed to it. The only place I can see it having relevance is in high school, from the Mean Girls. Or for celebrities who are wearing designer loans on the red carpet.
For me a better ideal is buying quality pieces that will last a long time.
I don’t idealize Steve Jobs but he wore the same look EVERY day! Haha!
While I'm probably one of the few who subscribes to different outfit daily (sometimes complete with tuck), there was something comforting in seeing Jobs in his black uniform. I looked forward to seeing him in theater at his unveilings. His style said, "steady" in an industry constantly changing. Apple was making my head spin in its constant evolution (me and technology are not friends), but Jobs's look said "It's not rocket science; we're keeping it simple." And what everyone here is talking about, really, is keeping it simple. I'm catching on.
Such a good point, I hadn't looked at it that way, only that his uniform was a way to keep his functional life simple while he was working on such big ideas, the same reason Obama said he wore the same suits.
Style icons from bygone days wore the same thing all the time. Katherine Hepburn pants and white button down shirt, Jane Birkin, jeans and T shirt, etc. We can rename re-wearing as "signature style."
could not agree more! Another category of stylish people who do this are fashion editors. They ALL have a uniform, and it’s not what’s trendy.
You are so right!
Love this. It made me think of my uncle, who has worn the same sweater every Christmas for as long as I can remember (so about 35 years at this point). Just seeing him in it every year makes me happy and nostalgic, and isn't that a great feeling to conjure with our clothing?
Yes, exactly! I’m sure this is urban legend, but I’ve heard that French women will say something like this, instead of judging for rewearing: “I love that dress on you, I’m so happy to see you wearing it again” or some such.
This post brings back 40-year memories of Isabella. Isa was legal counsel for a governor for whom I worked. She was a woman of style. I idolized her. Of course only being 25 years old I hungered for role models. She fit the bill in every way - profession, fashion sense, literary interests, international travel. She and (I forget his name) from the office of another governor were having a fling. One day Isa arrived at our office wearing the same emerald and cobalt colored silk dress she'd worn the day before. 40 years later I remember the dress, what I'd call a "date dress." All I could think was, "Damn, Isa, you didn't have to let all of us know you slept at his house last night. Couldn't you have changed clothes?" She was the talk of the office, mostly because no one thought him worthy of her (she went on to marry a successful novelist with whom she moved to Düsseldorf.) Bottom line. None of our business her sex life or her closet. And she knew it. She strutted that day with an air of class. Secretly I admired her chutzpah. To my surprise, we became friends. When five years later I visited Paris for the first time, she invited me to her home in Germany. Taught me a thing or two about not giving a flying fig how people judge. Also held up the mirror to my ugliness. Not even a scratch of skin off Isabella's nose.
Wow what a story! And that confidence definitely helps in not giving a fig!
Just based on your description I want a whole book about Isa!
I want the dress.
As a work from home mom who often wears whatever I wore to sleep to school drop off, throughout the day, and maaaaybe even again to bed, I can attest that no one really notices or cares (except my four year old who occasionally asks, “why are you wearing your pajamas outside?!” 🫣).
I do this at least 2-3 times a week! I’m an expert at throwing something on top to make it look like an outfit, but it’s really just my pajamas!
Came to say this! Likely nobody will notice, and if they do...most won’t give a flying.
💯💯💯
One of my writer-friends bought (maybe had made--she knows cool people who sew) a dress suitable for autumn in the colours of her new book and has worn it to all her “author events”--launch, appearance at blah blah bookstore, evening event at a library, in-person book club visit. And talked about it online--saying “this was one of the smartest things I’ve done.” Genius!
I did the same (more or less: same dress in three colours adaptable with tights for all seasons). It takes a huge unknown out of the equation in what can be a stressful time. Even if nobody shows up, I still look good in that empty bookstore 😊
This is total genius! I should have thought of this when I dressed Virginia for her book tour! Yes, I imagine those events are stress inducing enough without having to worry about what you're wearing. And I especially love the fact that she made a point of talking about it, because it all helps normalize it, and you were clearly inspired as well!
Yes, 1,000% this. My 20 yr old son and I just returned from France yesterday, and he decided in the days we were there that he is focused WAY too much on being super clean with perfect hair and fancy clothing. He has decided to be more French and let his hair get 2 days old and “slightly greasy” even a bit messy and wear simple things that are cut well. He observed that because we are such a car culture (and we live in the ‘burbs with no public transportation) that we want our hair and appearance to be perfect like we just left the bathroom in the morning, while the rest of the world and a few big cities in the US has to actually go OUTDOORS to get from place to place, and they get all wind blown and just roll with it. The same goes for clothing - everyone is wearing black pants and black bottoms with a few different options of shoes - they might add an accessory to make the outfit a bit unique, and they look more refined than anyone with a closet full of outfits from SHEIN (doing BamaRushtoks). He said everyone there looks more simple in a classic and comforting way.
I have never thought about this but it makes so much sense! That maybe the fact that europeans appear more sophisticated is somehow related to functionality in a city. And any thought of SHEIN OR Bama Rushtoks makes me want to tear my hair out! 🤬
I relate strongly to this! I have never owned a car, and it is one of the reasons I dress the way I do. It's not terrible, but it's not corporate-office-glam. Pants that can't be rolled up will get caught in the bike chain. I need to be able to walk some distance in my shoes, so no heels. Pencil skirts are a nuisance because I can neither stride nor pedal in them. My hair is pulled back because it's pointless to coif it carefully and then smash it under a bike helmet. Car culture truly does make a difference!
I also think that your lifestyle and a wardrobe that functions for it is a big important piece of developing your style, not just an afterthought.
This is something I'm coming to realize more and more that for me takes precendence - I'd rather pack lightly than wear all my most stylish outfits on a trip, I'd rather be comfortable than wear fancy shoes, etc.
I only buy clothing I can bike in, having switched to biking as my primary transportation years and years ago. I really loved pencil skirts and I have a couple in a stretchy fabric (one with built-in bike shorts underneath, by Betabrand). I can still look sharp without owning as many skirts and pairs of pants as I used to. I also gave up my old "beauty before comfort" shoe purchasing approach and switched it the other way around. I can walk for miles in the dress shoes and boots I own now.
What brands do you like for walkable shoes?
I admit to sitting at Parisian outdoor cafes each evening specifically to watch women's wear. Bought the stereotype surrounding French apparel? Sure did. Saw none of it. Your son may have something there.
Funny that you should do the male comparison. Earlier this year I accompanied my 26 year old godson to shop for a suit. He'd started a new job that required such. (I was surprised post covid when the world seemed to relax into business casual.) As we talked, him asking my advice, I was emphatic in my "knowledge" that all he'd need throughout his professional career was two black suits. If he wanted to be a fashion plate, he could also buy navy blue and tan, but two finely tailored black suits per season, eight white 100% cotton shirts, comfortable shoes, and an array of boldly colored silk ties was all that was needed. That was my version of the male capsule and that's exactly what we bought. A banker outfit for the new banker. Would I do the same for me? Not a chance. I'm guilty of the patriarchal, consumer driven mindset of fresh outfit daily even though I work from home, participating in only one half-hour meeting a week with one other person who is herself dressed in baseball cap and sweatshirt. In my case what is good for the goose is not good for the gander. I have some brain shifting to do. That said, I love dressing up. Wearing something different and pretty puts a little kick in my step.
It is such a fine line between societal expectations and what we actually want to do for ourselves.
And the truth for me is that often I don't know. Coming from the northeast, each time I wear white jeans in winter (today) I automatically think, "Here's one against the taboo." I find myself, in the far reaches of my life, giving conscious thought to whether I'm playing into the hands that white, male, wealthy, society dictates to me or am I being my authentic self. Yesterday I bought a collection of essays entitled, "Everyday Something Has Tried to Kill Me and Has Failed" by Kim McLarin. In her blurb Deesha Philyaw writes, "I feel seen at a time when - Black women approaching sixty and beyond - feel invisible and/or seen in the worst possible light." How we show up in our dress is part of that. Even what we wear is a political statement.
ABsolutely 100%. So much of professional wear is meant to fit into the model that white men dictated - more on this coming soon.
We had back-to-back holiday parties this past Friday and Saturday night, and I ended up wearing the same thing both nights (even though the gold sequin bomber jacket was quite memorable!). Although there was a chance there might be crossover in the attendees, I figured it would be a good laugh and a conversation starter with anyone who noticed!
And also, how great to have something that you love wearing and are getting your use out of!
I would love to see the gold sequined bomber jacket. Brava on the choice!
Uniform/capsule. Comfortable. Affordable. Sustainable. This is the way we dress when we run out of fux and just want to feel good. xo
Couldn't agree more!
I have one old navy shirt that is literally worn 3x a week. Is comfy, it’s cute, and it goes with everything. The place I actually struggle the most with this is dressing my kids for church?? They would love to wear the same thing every Sunday but I feel so much pressure for them to be in cute new things?? I’m working hard to stop this because they don’t need 10 outfits they only wear once a week. Part of the joy of sizing my closet down is that I have so few options now and I like all of them and I don’t end up changing fifteen times. It’s been such a relief.
I wonder where that pressure comes from?
I think part of it is that it’s the same people at church every week whereas I see different people during the week so they haven’t seen me? I also think probably some of it comes from my mom who has an absolutely abundant closet and, as the only daughter, I was very much supposed to look cute, especially for church.
I think we had the same mother?
I can remember exactly when my worry about this started for me!
Kindergarten was my first out-of-the-house schooling experience. Before that I was at home with my mom and younger brother. Kindergarten was a big deal! I guess before starting school, my Mom had dressed me in whatever was clean and could be easily washed. One day in the fall of kindergarten, I got to school and was settling down at my desk, and another child said with a tone of scorn "you wore that yesterday!" I don't remember what I was wearing, but when I got home that afternoon I told my Mom that I couldn't wear the same thing two days in a row and couldn't wear the same outfit twice in a week because someone would remember. And it clearly was Not Cool. (the beginning of me never looking as if I fit in!)
And I've held that belief ever since. It influences my choices each day: oops, I wore that sweater on Monday, can't wear it again to the office. Already wore those pants this week, need to choose different ones even though no-one who saw me on Tuesday will be around on Friday. When I'm at home I happily rewear the same thing for days until it gets dirty or sweaty. But if I have to go to the office, unique outfits only! Fascinating how early things like that stick.
I am so sorry you had that experience. It does feel like something we’ve been taught (as you clearly were) that we have to do to be cool, or perhaps also to show we had money? I wonder if you can slowly start to introduce rewears into even your work outfits.
I sometimes wonder if in the kindergarten context, it comes from a combination of a) showing that a kid's family is wealthy enough to have a different outfit for every day of the week and b) having everything be clean, implying that the family has someone at home taking care of laundry. Earlier, say my mother's generation, I imagine this was tied up with the ability to afford a washing machine to help the mother of the house.
This has reminded me of a fascinating book I stumbled across and didn't get to read enough of... a study of French laundries in the 1600s-1700s, and how ideas of the creation of a gentlemen were tied up with the ability to get linens sparkling white. That is, having the money to pay someone to launder linens frequently. I should find that book again...
Yes, I think you're right about the factors influencing that. And the laundry story reminds me about the fact that for a long time only very wealthy people wore white, because being able to keep it clean throughout the day was a signifier that they didn't have to do any work.
Being shamed at such a young age leaves a mark. <3
Well you know where I stand on this Dacy 😜 Same 6-7 black comfy things worn day in, day out until they wear out 🤣 I was always an outfit repeater (I’m sure my adhd / hyperfixation prone mind plays a part in this), but now I’ve totally gone over the threshold of really not caring at all if anyone notices that I buy the same three items in bulk and only wear these in rotations…. (And frankly I think they don’t). Too bad I can’t do turtlenecks (hot flashes / cannot stand things around the neck) or hard pants (soft joggers ftw) because otherwise I would totally do a Steve Jobs and only wear that… always loved that combo.
You do the minimalist comfy uniform so well!
Oh gosh, I’m late to this post but I love it. I’m wondering if there are any tips to help teens understand and embrace this. Or just learn about fast fashion in general. Or accounts aimed at teens? The level of anxiety my stepdaughter has about planning outfits is worrisome and a big, big part of it is not repeating. (I recognize it sounds very normal for teens to be concerned about clothes and I get it! But it’s occupying a LARGE amount of her executive function brainspace, the amount of math and if/then complexity it takes to avoid repeats. I am sure it’s just doing what it takes to get by in high school but the stress! I wish I could alleviate it for her!)
I'm so sorry I've taken so long to reply to this, but I had it on my list to do because it's such an important question. I'd be curious to ask her what the fear is if she repeats and try to break that down? One of the most impactful books I read around this topic was Overdressed by Elizabeth Cline. I wonder though if it might be better to relate to her through her own medium ;)
this was a search I did on TikTok that had lots of great videos:
https://www.tiktok.com/search?q=sustainable%20style%20outfit%20repeating&t=1704321514165
I've thought about this so often! A man can just change his tie and no one would blink. How did the expectation for so much variety get imposed on women? (rhetorical question) Thank you for expressing it (and thank you to Virginia Sole-Smith for linking to you from Burnt Toast https://virginiasolesmith.substack.com/p/whats-in-your-bag).
Switching from driving to biking for my primary transportation changed my approach to clothing. All my pants, skirts, dresses, and shoes are comfortable for biking and walking. I added the requirement that all my dresses, jackets and pants have to have pockets and that instantly eliminates a lot of fashion because of the patriarchical anti-pocket history of women's clothing. Boy, does that save me a lot of money!
I try to buy things made of fibers I can wear numerous times without washing, which means a lot of merino wool. I have to go to weeklong conferences and have reduced what I pack to a dress, a pair of pants, a top or two, jacket or two, scarves. I'm wearing the same things and look different every day, which isn't quite the same as wearing the exact same clothing every day but in the vicinity. This required me to break down my old habits of wanting lots of variety and instead be proud of how lightly I can pack. It's so freeing to let go of caring whether someone notices I wore the same jacket twice--which I'm happy to do because I have some signature colors I really love so yes, I'm the woman in the turquoise or teal. Again.
Yes, yes, yes! Sometimes restrictions (in a non punitive, healthy way of course) make the hard decisions for you. Your wardrobe sounds dreamily minimalist. I've also had to come to terms that when traveling, I'm just not going to be my most stylish self, because packing lightly is more of a priority! Glad you're here.
After reading this, I've been rewearing my favorite clothes at work this week, even though I wore them last week. I don't know where I got the idea that I need two to three week of office outfits. The dudes I work with definitely wear clothes and shoes that are so worn out, they should toss them -- like a thrift store wouldn't even want them.
totally, such a double standard
I know there’s an idea that you shouldn’t be seen in the same outfit multiple times. But it seems dated to me. I don’t know anyone, not anyone in my life who has subscribed to it. The only place I can see it having relevance is in high school, from the Mean Girls. Or for celebrities who are wearing designer loans on the red carpet.
For me a better ideal is buying quality pieces that will last a long time.
I don’t idealize Steve Jobs but he wore the same look EVERY day! Haha!
While I'm probably one of the few who subscribes to different outfit daily (sometimes complete with tuck), there was something comforting in seeing Jobs in his black uniform. I looked forward to seeing him in theater at his unveilings. His style said, "steady" in an industry constantly changing. Apple was making my head spin in its constant evolution (me and technology are not friends), but Jobs's look said "It's not rocket science; we're keeping it simple." And what everyone here is talking about, really, is keeping it simple. I'm catching on.
Such a good point, I hadn't looked at it that way, only that his uniform was a way to keep his functional life simple while he was working on such big ideas, the same reason Obama said he wore the same suits.
You would be surprised at how many clients I talk to who kept an actual calendar of outfits so they wouldn't repeat!
What do you mean by “repeat” if they are tracking outfits in a calendar? Repeat in the same week? Repeat at parties?
All of the above! Mostly not to repeat within a month and not wearing the same thing at events.