I am putting this out here in defense of what I'm about to say. The last two months have been wretched in terms on my health. So sick, so limited, so overwhelmed, so anxious that tears were spilled many days. The only relief I received were from Xanax, French food, and shopping for children's books and clothes. Out went the self imposed restriction of five new items over the course of a year. So did attention to my Pinterest board. I went for comfort in the food I ate, the things I read, and the clothes I bought.
So here goes.
Three pair of mules, black, brown, and tan. I'd sworn off shoes some years ago because of discomfort. My feet simply were not made for most shoe styles. Or rather, the shoe industry refused to acknowledge that an 11 wide was within the parameters of what a woman might need. So the mules. Fit like a gloves, cute as heck, and deemed a must have.
Two purses. One cobalt blue, which is really a fantastic bag for carrying laptop for working in cafes and files to schlep to clinical trial. One red just because it was, again, cute as heck and actually did fall under the Pinterest category of accessories to punch up a neutral wardrobe although, of course, that's coincidental.
A simple cotton, sleeveless, midi peach dress because summers in Washington, DC are sweltering and light weight and light color clothes are imperative.
A white t-shirt dress for the same reason as above.
A maxi brown and beige, sleeveless linen dress because, no reason.
Cocoa colored, wide leg linen slacks. A random, impulse buy made in-store. Perfect fit (which is unusual for slacks for a woman 5'10").
Pink maxi linen skirt because masterfully tailored and stunning. Blew the budget.
White cotton A-line skirt because simple and beautiful and influenced by Vogue magazine, which touted it as an "essential" buy for the capsule spring wardrobe. Another budget buster.
Three white summer sweaters because unusual, on sale, and absolutely no excuse except happened upon them on a day tears were flowing.
None of these items fall under the "need" category except that at the time of purchase I didn't know how to get through the day without treating myself in the knee jerk way that I've learned to treat myself. Do I have buyers remorse? Not yet. Did I consult my Pinterest board? No. Did I take inventory of existing spring/summer wardrobe? Uh uh. Did I stop crying? Yes, but only because my cardiologist saw slight improvement. Surgery averted. For now.
Sometimes shopping is the only tool I can grab in my toolbox. And sometimes leaning on the familiar is the only thing I know how to do.
Thank you for saying this, Dacy. I have in my mind that there's a right way to declutter a home, a right way to manage a wardrobe, a right way to maintain a personal library, a right way to eat. I read countless blogs and newsletters that seem to reinforce this and while no one has the power to make me feel shame, I often read them and feel like a failure. So... thank you for your kind and thoughtful words.
If it is the act of shopping that is filling a need, that's ok! I am so sorry you are going through a rough time. I hope that things improve for you soon. Your clothes sound fantastic. I hope that they bring you happiness when you wear them.
This is maybe a whole other column, since there's so many factors, but when do you starting thinking about a new season of clothing? Sometimes it feels like winter clothes have come and gone by Halloween, but if I buy too early there's stragglers (something I didn't know I would need, usually a replacement for something that's leaving the rotation). Growing up in the Midwest it was time for storm windows and winter clothes by Halloween but here in the Mid-Atlantic cold weather seems to start later and crops up unpredictably until spring break.
for me, it is dependent on weather here in the midwest. We get those first few nice days and I start thinking about it. if what i need is available, great, if it's already gone, i'll add it to my list until the next time it's available.
This year I started early. I worked with Dacy in winter focusing on spring attire because I wanted time to suss out my style, save money, and identify venues from which I'd likely find some of what I sought. In theory it was a smart move. Ordinarily, though, I'd wait for hints from myriad sources like fashion magazines and store window displays. In the Mid-Atlantic (DC) it seems to appear around March.
I'm off of the defensive. While your post is now dated, I wanted to jump back in as I've figured out what intentional shopping means. I also appreciate your suggestion that we find style icons. As I was combing through Pinterest I noticed that I cotton to the leisure styles of Meryl Streep and Emma Thompson, women my age who reject fancy over the top, who play with bits of color, appreciate an unusual cut, but do most of their fashion dancing with a classic twist. Noticing my attraction to them I'm rethinking my Pinterest board. I did find it amusing that in Bridges of Madison County Streep wore a cardigan my mother purchased for me. That aside, I'm getting excited about rambling through my closet searching for pieces that I love while surfing the net for one or two unusual items that say Anita, Meryl, and Emma. Fun. And thanks.
I am putting this out here in defense of what I'm about to say. The last two months have been wretched in terms on my health. So sick, so limited, so overwhelmed, so anxious that tears were spilled many days. The only relief I received were from Xanax, French food, and shopping for children's books and clothes. Out went the self imposed restriction of five new items over the course of a year. So did attention to my Pinterest board. I went for comfort in the food I ate, the things I read, and the clothes I bought.
So here goes.
Three pair of mules, black, brown, and tan. I'd sworn off shoes some years ago because of discomfort. My feet simply were not made for most shoe styles. Or rather, the shoe industry refused to acknowledge that an 11 wide was within the parameters of what a woman might need. So the mules. Fit like a gloves, cute as heck, and deemed a must have.
Two purses. One cobalt blue, which is really a fantastic bag for carrying laptop for working in cafes and files to schlep to clinical trial. One red just because it was, again, cute as heck and actually did fall under the Pinterest category of accessories to punch up a neutral wardrobe although, of course, that's coincidental.
A simple cotton, sleeveless, midi peach dress because summers in Washington, DC are sweltering and light weight and light color clothes are imperative.
A white t-shirt dress for the same reason as above.
A maxi brown and beige, sleeveless linen dress because, no reason.
Cocoa colored, wide leg linen slacks. A random, impulse buy made in-store. Perfect fit (which is unusual for slacks for a woman 5'10").
Pink maxi linen skirt because masterfully tailored and stunning. Blew the budget.
White cotton A-line skirt because simple and beautiful and influenced by Vogue magazine, which touted it as an "essential" buy for the capsule spring wardrobe. Another budget buster.
Three white summer sweaters because unusual, on sale, and absolutely no excuse except happened upon them on a day tears were flowing.
None of these items fall under the "need" category except that at the time of purchase I didn't know how to get through the day without treating myself in the knee jerk way that I've learned to treat myself. Do I have buyers remorse? Not yet. Did I consult my Pinterest board? No. Did I take inventory of existing spring/summer wardrobe? Uh uh. Did I stop crying? Yes, but only because my cardiologist saw slight improvement. Surgery averted. For now.
Sometimes shopping is the only tool I can grab in my toolbox. And sometimes leaning on the familiar is the only thing I know how to do.
there's never any need to have to defend yourself and I hope my posts never make you feel shame, we're all getting by any way we can.
Thank you for saying this, Dacy. I have in my mind that there's a right way to declutter a home, a right way to manage a wardrobe, a right way to maintain a personal library, a right way to eat. I read countless blogs and newsletters that seem to reinforce this and while no one has the power to make me feel shame, I often read them and feel like a failure. So... thank you for your kind and thoughtful words.
i'd say stop taking others' advice (even mine!) and do what you need to do!
If it is the act of shopping that is filling a need, that's ok! I am so sorry you are going through a rough time. I hope that things improve for you soon. Your clothes sound fantastic. I hope that they bring you happiness when you wear them.
Thank you, Carrie. I appreciate your expressed empathy.
This is so so helpful!!
Reading this through it makes so much sense! Totally logical.
...and I have never, in my entire life, managed to shop like this! lol
lots to think about.
😂
This is maybe a whole other column, since there's so many factors, but when do you starting thinking about a new season of clothing? Sometimes it feels like winter clothes have come and gone by Halloween, but if I buy too early there's stragglers (something I didn't know I would need, usually a replacement for something that's leaving the rotation). Growing up in the Midwest it was time for storm windows and winter clothes by Halloween but here in the Mid-Atlantic cold weather seems to start later and crops up unpredictably until spring break.
for me, it is dependent on weather here in the midwest. We get those first few nice days and I start thinking about it. if what i need is available, great, if it's already gone, i'll add it to my list until the next time it's available.
This year I started early. I worked with Dacy in winter focusing on spring attire because I wanted time to suss out my style, save money, and identify venues from which I'd likely find some of what I sought. In theory it was a smart move. Ordinarily, though, I'd wait for hints from myriad sources like fashion magazines and store window displays. In the Mid-Atlantic (DC) it seems to appear around March.
I preserved the anthro pants in cream. They’ve been on list for ages. Thank you.
I'm off of the defensive. While your post is now dated, I wanted to jump back in as I've figured out what intentional shopping means. I also appreciate your suggestion that we find style icons. As I was combing through Pinterest I noticed that I cotton to the leisure styles of Meryl Streep and Emma Thompson, women my age who reject fancy over the top, who play with bits of color, appreciate an unusual cut, but do most of their fashion dancing with a classic twist. Noticing my attraction to them I'm rethinking my Pinterest board. I did find it amusing that in Bridges of Madison County Streep wore a cardigan my mother purchased for me. That aside, I'm getting excited about rambling through my closet searching for pieces that I love while surfing the net for one or two unusual items that say Anita, Meryl, and Emma. Fun. And thanks.