in the middle of it

I’ve been feeling really great for months. Parenting has gotten easier¹, I’m loving my new wardrobe, and I feel better in my body than I did a year ago². 

And still, without any warning, seemingly without any events prompting it, my depression came back. About two weeks ago. So hard to admit. So embarrassing. So hard to try to act like a human in a house full of people when you’d rather just stay in bed and watch old seasons of Master Chef all day.

 

Yes, parenting has gotten easier, but that doesn’t mean that my kids don’t try my patience every day. Especially around 8pm when they decide that bedtime is the time to wrestle, fight, and generally run like crazy people around the house (seriously, why? I don’t understand it). I lose it, I feel terrible, rinse and repeat. My body feels better, but I’m having a lot of SI joint pain that is causing me to have to take a break from Pilates, the one movement I don’t hate. My clothes feel good, but I still freak out when there’s an event that I don…