I have found that it is helpful to go to the store to try on clothes without any intention of buying. What I want to know on these excursions is how the sizing runs for a particular brand. So if I want to know how JJill fits (big and stretchy, for the record) I just try on a bunch of JJill stuff in the store without caring about whether I like it. Then I can go through the website at home knowing which sizes are most likely to fit when I find an item I actually want.
Such a good point. I do this too, mostly at Madewell to see what I am in jeans, which I then find for half the price on poshmark!
(It must be acknowledged that we both must have thin privilege in order to do this, however. I just looked at J. Jill's website and while they carry up to size 4X online, they are only recently carrying up to 2X in store.)
Jul 4, 2023·edited Jul 4, 2023Liked by Dacy Gillespie
Yay so glad you decided to cover the subject and share this!
I can safely say, as a very neurodivergent person with severe sensory issues, who had the privilege to work with you that this advice on when / how to shop has been lifechanging. Also, can vouch about the return percentage and would say that for me it has even been closer to 95%. A couple weeks ago, I ordered close to 15 items in the hope of finding sensory friendly stuff for the heat: on the lot, only ONE worked (and only has homewear!) and I returned everything else. Also everything was from the same brand and I was THREE different sizes within that brand (having ordered multiple sizes as I have learnt to do from you). Wild. (I also have severe dyscalculia so if I’m off in my percentage assessment of 1 of 15 items = 95% please don’t come at me 🤣).
I would add that for me strategies that have worked with overwhelm if shopping irl: one store at a time. Letting go of the notion that I will hit this spot and that spot. No. One store, early in the morning, week day, setting a timer to remind myself to get out (because otherwise will wind up in a daze still in the store three hours later), and I have my headphones on to counter the noise/music + pinterest at the ready to remind myself of what my style is (otherwise I will get tempted by that bright pink shirt dress when all I wear are black soft tees 🤷♀️). And usually I will go and sit somewhere afterwards (café) to sit, drink water and regroup. Also I try to favor store that limit social interaction (like ones with self check outs options).
Looking forward to the discussion about sensory friendly clothes!
I love these suggestions. I rush when I shop in stores (because I want out!) and it's difficult to know how an item tried on in a dressing room will look under natural lighting (I've had items look great on me in a chartreuse dressing room--because chartreuse looks great on me--but look awful in the light of day). And so I wanted to add that it's also worth it to give ourselves the time and space to return items purchased in the store as willy-nilly as we return items purchased online.
Such helpful tips - thank you! I love this community because everyone has such brilliant ideas and is so supportive and encouraging. Pre-COVID, I really wasn’t affected by sensory overload while shopping. I would do day-long shopping marathons and not be phased. Now, I can barely go into one store without feeling absolutely exhausted. I think the pandemic + motherhood + getting older has shifted how I feel about being in stores so this advice both validates my experience and gives me some helpful guidance on how to shop in a way that feels better to my nervous system.
"As humans socialized as women, we’ve been made to believe that shopping is something we inherently know how to do and also enjoy. That’s not the case for many women." Ahh, thank you for this! Shopping in person is completely overwhelming for me and not fun at all. I've had better luck with ThredUp, but I need to be better about returning things I don't love. I'll keep that 90% number in mind!
YES! I absolutely hate shopping for clothes in person. Switching to online has been a big help. And Dacy’s advice to order a bunch and return what doesn’t work has helped me. As she said somewhere, the return shipping fee is worth not going to the store. Compounding that is the fact that my style and needs aren’t met by the clothing trends in my local stores.
I appreciate the info about returns in online shopping. The online store I trusted for a couple decades ripped me off and it was entirely their fault so I’ve been trying other stores and just buying a few pieces at a time to see what sizing and fabric is like. I think I’ve kept 4 things out of maybe 40 that I’ve ordered over the last 3 years so that return rate makes total sense.
I would also say that if you are trying something on and a piece of fabric gives you sensory ick you don’t have to keep it on for a second longer. I know too many of us were required as kids to “try to get used to it” or worried that there wouldn’t be a better option but there probably is now. This is why I try not to let myself get to the point of being down to only one pair of pants so I don’t feel that fear and desperation. But that did happen last year so I get it if either because of the clothing industry or finances or both, you are in that position. Amazon (which I know is a nightmare for various reasons) has a try before you buy feature. Meaning you can order clothes and you are only charged if you keep them. This can help folks in a financial bind.
If people like universal standard or are curious about them, apparently they do fitting tours to cities around the country? I just went to my first one and it was a revelation! Basically you sign up for an appointment and they had rented this Airbnb mansion and me and. 2 other people were there with 5 stylists who pulled clothes for us after asking lots of questions about what we were looking for and helped us figure out sizes. It was much more relaxing and sensory friendly than other shopping experiences have been. I know US can be pretty expensive so it’s not for everyone but I was surprised by how much I loved it.
I have found that it is helpful to go to the store to try on clothes without any intention of buying. What I want to know on these excursions is how the sizing runs for a particular brand. So if I want to know how JJill fits (big and stretchy, for the record) I just try on a bunch of JJill stuff in the store without caring about whether I like it. Then I can go through the website at home knowing which sizes are most likely to fit when I find an item I actually want.
Such a good point. I do this too, mostly at Madewell to see what I am in jeans, which I then find for half the price on poshmark!
(It must be acknowledged that we both must have thin privilege in order to do this, however. I just looked at J. Jill's website and while they carry up to size 4X online, they are only recently carrying up to 2X in store.)
Yes, excellent point.
Yay so glad you decided to cover the subject and share this!
I can safely say, as a very neurodivergent person with severe sensory issues, who had the privilege to work with you that this advice on when / how to shop has been lifechanging. Also, can vouch about the return percentage and would say that for me it has even been closer to 95%. A couple weeks ago, I ordered close to 15 items in the hope of finding sensory friendly stuff for the heat: on the lot, only ONE worked (and only has homewear!) and I returned everything else. Also everything was from the same brand and I was THREE different sizes within that brand (having ordered multiple sizes as I have learnt to do from you). Wild. (I also have severe dyscalculia so if I’m off in my percentage assessment of 1 of 15 items = 95% please don’t come at me 🤣).
I would add that for me strategies that have worked with overwhelm if shopping irl: one store at a time. Letting go of the notion that I will hit this spot and that spot. No. One store, early in the morning, week day, setting a timer to remind myself to get out (because otherwise will wind up in a daze still in the store three hours later), and I have my headphones on to counter the noise/music + pinterest at the ready to remind myself of what my style is (otherwise I will get tempted by that bright pink shirt dress when all I wear are black soft tees 🤷♀️). And usually I will go and sit somewhere afterwards (café) to sit, drink water and regroup. Also I try to favor store that limit social interaction (like ones with self check outs options).
Looking forward to the discussion about sensory friendly clothes!
Yes! Such good advice about one store, time limit and regrouping. I learned those from you, should have included them!
Great tips!
I love these suggestions. I rush when I shop in stores (because I want out!) and it's difficult to know how an item tried on in a dressing room will look under natural lighting (I've had items look great on me in a chartreuse dressing room--because chartreuse looks great on me--but look awful in the light of day). And so I wanted to add that it's also worth it to give ourselves the time and space to return items purchased in the store as willy-nilly as we return items purchased online.
Yes, and the ability to change our minds once we get home!
Such helpful tips - thank you! I love this community because everyone has such brilliant ideas and is so supportive and encouraging. Pre-COVID, I really wasn’t affected by sensory overload while shopping. I would do day-long shopping marathons and not be phased. Now, I can barely go into one store without feeling absolutely exhausted. I think the pandemic + motherhood + getting older has shifted how I feel about being in stores so this advice both validates my experience and gives me some helpful guidance on how to shop in a way that feels better to my nervous system.
so glad!
"As humans socialized as women, we’ve been made to believe that shopping is something we inherently know how to do and also enjoy. That’s not the case for many women." Ahh, thank you for this! Shopping in person is completely overwhelming for me and not fun at all. I've had better luck with ThredUp, but I need to be better about returning things I don't love. I'll keep that 90% number in mind!
YES! I absolutely hate shopping for clothes in person. Switching to online has been a big help. And Dacy’s advice to order a bunch and return what doesn’t work has helped me. As she said somewhere, the return shipping fee is worth not going to the store. Compounding that is the fact that my style and needs aren’t met by the clothing trends in my local stores.
I appreciate the info about returns in online shopping. The online store I trusted for a couple decades ripped me off and it was entirely their fault so I’ve been trying other stores and just buying a few pieces at a time to see what sizing and fabric is like. I think I’ve kept 4 things out of maybe 40 that I’ve ordered over the last 3 years so that return rate makes total sense.
I would also say that if you are trying something on and a piece of fabric gives you sensory ick you don’t have to keep it on for a second longer. I know too many of us were required as kids to “try to get used to it” or worried that there wouldn’t be a better option but there probably is now. This is why I try not to let myself get to the point of being down to only one pair of pants so I don’t feel that fear and desperation. But that did happen last year so I get it if either because of the clothing industry or finances or both, you are in that position. Amazon (which I know is a nightmare for various reasons) has a try before you buy feature. Meaning you can order clothes and you are only charged if you keep them. This can help folks in a financial bind.
agree with all this!
Such a great point about the sensory ick!
If people like universal standard or are curious about them, apparently they do fitting tours to cities around the country? I just went to my first one and it was a revelation! Basically you sign up for an appointment and they had rented this Airbnb mansion and me and. 2 other people were there with 5 stylists who pulled clothes for us after asking lots of questions about what we were looking for and helped us figure out sizes. It was much more relaxing and sensory friendly than other shopping experiences have been. I know US can be pretty expensive so it’s not for everyone but I was surprised by how much I loved it.
That sounds amazing!