style ama: how can I get over guilt from needing to buy new clothes due to weight changes?
I am no stranger to guilt. I feel guilty when I ask for help. I feel guilty when I cancel plans. I feel guilty that I’m not an active member of the PTA. I feel guilty when I charge for the work I do. I feel guilty that this Substack piece isn’t going to be as long and researched and intellectual as other writers’.
It makes so much sense that you’d feel guilt in this situation. The same culture that teaches us we need new things all the time to be on trend tells us that our clothes should be “timeless” and that we’re letting ourselves go if they no longer fit.
Brené Brown says that guilt is a feeling that you’ve done something wrong (whereas shame is the feeling that you *are* wrong). You’ve done nothing wrong here. Despite what we’ve been conditioned to think, bodies are meant to change.
Bodies are constantly changing. Our bodies change as kids. Our bodies change as we go through puberty. Our bodies change as we try different lifestyles. Our…