I am so glad you have a spot on Substack. A couple of weeks ago, I looked around my closet and saw that for the first time since I started dressing myself (like, 50 years), I like and wear everything in that closet. No summer versus winter, no fat versus thin, no "I'm sure I'll find something to wear with it." Just my clothes. The clothes I want to wear, organized in a way I choose (by color). And then I said to myself: "This is all Dacy's doing. The consultation I had with her fixed it." Blessings to you, Dacy, on your Substack venture.
I keep reading the subject line in my inbox as “the unflattering anxiety of an intro post” and am now fascinated by the idea of “unflattering anxiety” and when performative anxiety is good vs. bad. There’s so much there!
A very specific topic request because it’s my current pet peeve: how to find pants that fit when you don’t have exactly a 10-inch difference between waist and hip measurements! Particularly when it’s less—the little advice I’ve found online has been for people with a larger difference.
I’m so excited for this, Dacy! Your Instagram content and existing newsletter are some of my faves, and I’m looking forward to digitally “picking your brain” so to speak. I am 53, no kids, married, in recovery from a lifetime of disordered eating and working on accepting my now much larger body. Finding clothes that fit and that I like is so hard. I’m plus size AND short (5’2”), and everything is either too small or too long. I recently decimated my closet of everything that either didn’t fit or that I didn’t truly love, and now I have no clothes LOL. I’m also working on this concept of unflattering, and just ordered a caftan that I will probably need to have hemmed but kind of looking forward to having a “Golden Girls Summer” of caftans and wine 😂.
Dacy, I'm so excited about this new adventure! And hello to everyone else who is here! I'm definitely struggling with the changes in my body due to chronic illness and my intuitive eating journey... I'm constantly fighting the old thinking of needing to lose weight and reminding myself to focus on my newfound comfort and freedom with food now that I've moved past restriction and have settled into the norm of non-restriction (after the eat whatever whenever in whatever volume freedom). I think this deprogramming work is so important and I'm glad to be here!
I'm so excited to have a (budget-friendly) way to support your work! I've been following you on instagram for a while now and your approach to personal style and shopping have helped me reflect on so much of my own habits and thought patterns.
Alright yay!! Glad to be a part of this. For what it’s worth, I’ve been married for 13 years to someone I’ve known almost 24 years and I will also be 45 with a 4 year old and 9 year old. (Currently 42 with newborn). Eager to work on style more and neutrality as a post-partum mom and artist who’s also probably perimenopausal! Lol
Hi Darcy and everyone! I am glad to be here for the conversation, inspiration, and even the angst! I have been following and reading for I-don’t-know-how-long, and am excited to add this to my ‘stack’. Great idea and I am here for it! I need all the ‘deprogramming’ I can get!
I love the idea of rejecting flattering. I want to embrace it but it feels so challenging because I still very much feel judged on my appearance. I know I *shouldn't* let that affect the way I dress, but it feels even harder in a bigger body that's being doubly judged. Looking forward to continuing on this journey with you and learning how to unpack all the baggage that I have when it comes to dressing my body.
That is absolutely a valid fear, which I'm sure is based on experience. It's definitely something we'll talk more about here, which is that some people *need* to conform to certain standards in order to avoid harm. I wish it was available to everyone equally. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!
So excited for this newsletter! I found you through Virginia Sole-Smith and am SO glad I did. I’m currently in the “reject all pants so I can let my body expand throughout the day” phase which is great but I still need to a) get more affordable dresses I love and b) figure out all the damn layers for Wisconsin’s seasons - sometimes multiple in one day. Can’t wait to see what you do here!
This is awesome, Dacy, and the title is so very very good and perfect! It's been so great working with you so far and it is such a huge help to me as I finally start to feel more comfortable dressing my bigger body. I am not all the way there, but I am making progress for the first time in a VERY long time. Dressing for myself and not for others' eyes is such a huge mindset shift. I look forward to reading and learning more from you!
AMY!!! Thank you so much, and looking forward to our try on session this week! It is certainly a process, and ANY progress is something to be proud of. 😘
So happy your Substack just popped up in my recommendations (despite my trying to reduce the number of emails I subscribe to, oops). I'm also an INFJ and introvert with two kids and parenting challenges and all the things, and I already feel like I get you, just from this intro. Look forward to reading more!
I am so glad I came across your Substack, Dacy! I am 34 and after 2 kids and discovering and embracing intuitive eating, I am struggling to recognize my own body and to figure out what is comfortable and my personal style. After weaning from breastfeeding in January, I have gained weight and had to buy another round of new clothes that fit comfortably. All of that to say, I have been hoping to come across a community discussing all of these things and supporting each other in these new mindsets!
I am so glad you have a spot on Substack. A couple of weeks ago, I looked around my closet and saw that for the first time since I started dressing myself (like, 50 years), I like and wear everything in that closet. No summer versus winter, no fat versus thin, no "I'm sure I'll find something to wear with it." Just my clothes. The clothes I want to wear, organized in a way I choose (by color). And then I said to myself: "This is all Dacy's doing. The consultation I had with her fixed it." Blessings to you, Dacy, on your Substack venture.
Dana, I’m so happy you’re here and more importantly, I’m so happy you’re content with your wardrobe!!! 👏👏👏
I keep reading the subject line in my inbox as “the unflattering anxiety of an intro post” and am now fascinated by the idea of “unflattering anxiety” and when performative anxiety is good vs. bad. There’s so much there!
A very specific topic request because it’s my current pet peeve: how to find pants that fit when you don’t have exactly a 10-inch difference between waist and hip measurements! Particularly when it’s less—the little advice I’ve found online has been for people with a larger difference.
Ha, that’s so funny! And yes, that’s such a common problem and so infuriating that there isn’t a cut for that, as there is for “curvy”!
I’m so excited for this, Dacy! Your Instagram content and existing newsletter are some of my faves, and I’m looking forward to digitally “picking your brain” so to speak. I am 53, no kids, married, in recovery from a lifetime of disordered eating and working on accepting my now much larger body. Finding clothes that fit and that I like is so hard. I’m plus size AND short (5’2”), and everything is either too small or too long. I recently decimated my closet of everything that either didn’t fit or that I didn’t truly love, and now I have no clothes LOL. I’m also working on this concept of unflattering, and just ordered a caftan that I will probably need to have hemmed but kind of looking forward to having a “Golden Girls Summer” of caftans and wine 😂.
you really are in a tough spot, market-wise. But fully support #caftanlife!!
Dacy, I'm so excited about this new adventure! And hello to everyone else who is here! I'm definitely struggling with the changes in my body due to chronic illness and my intuitive eating journey... I'm constantly fighting the old thinking of needing to lose weight and reminding myself to focus on my newfound comfort and freedom with food now that I've moved past restriction and have settled into the norm of non-restriction (after the eat whatever whenever in whatever volume freedom). I think this deprogramming work is so important and I'm glad to be here!
Caroline, I'm so glad you're here too! I miss the conversations we used to have in Making Space and IRL!
Saaaaame! Let's reconnect this summer!
Yayyy! So thrilled about this!
😘😘😘
I found you originally because of Virginia!
She’s the best 😍
I'm so excited to have a (budget-friendly) way to support your work! I've been following you on instagram for a while now and your approach to personal style and shopping have helped me reflect on so much of my own habits and thought patterns.
That is so kind and I'm so glad it has been helpful. Hopefully much more to think about as we continue down this path!
Alright yay!! Glad to be a part of this. For what it’s worth, I’ve been married for 13 years to someone I’ve known almost 24 years and I will also be 45 with a 4 year old and 9 year old. (Currently 42 with newborn). Eager to work on style more and neutrality as a post-partum mom and artist who’s also probably perimenopausal! Lol
I'm 39 with a 2 year old and a 6 year old, so I feel you!
Yay! Same club 😂 So glad you're here!
Hi Darcy and everyone! I am glad to be here for the conversation, inspiration, and even the angst! I have been following and reading for I-don’t-know-how-long, and am excited to add this to my ‘stack’. Great idea and I am here for it! I need all the ‘deprogramming’ I can get!
Yay to deprogramming!! 💪 So glad you’re here.
So excited about your new space! Congrats!
I love the idea of rejecting flattering. I want to embrace it but it feels so challenging because I still very much feel judged on my appearance. I know I *shouldn't* let that affect the way I dress, but it feels even harder in a bigger body that's being doubly judged. Looking forward to continuing on this journey with you and learning how to unpack all the baggage that I have when it comes to dressing my body.
That is absolutely a valid fear, which I'm sure is based on experience. It's definitely something we'll talk more about here, which is that some people *need* to conform to certain standards in order to avoid harm. I wish it was available to everyone equally. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!
I’m excited for you!!!
I wore an “unflattering” dress yesterday and LOVED IT. Thank you for all that you’ve taught me.
Yay! You're one of my A+ students 😘
So excited for this newsletter! I found you through Virginia Sole-Smith and am SO glad I did. I’m currently in the “reject all pants so I can let my body expand throughout the day” phase which is great but I still need to a) get more affordable dresses I love and b) figure out all the damn layers for Wisconsin’s seasons - sometimes multiple in one day. Can’t wait to see what you do here!
Yay, I'm so happy you're here! Also in my reject anything restrictive around my waist phase!
Your work is so important, and I value your voice in this space so much. I’m excited to continue learning from you!
So grateful for all your support, Jenn!!
This is awesome, Dacy, and the title is so very very good and perfect! It's been so great working with you so far and it is such a huge help to me as I finally start to feel more comfortable dressing my bigger body. I am not all the way there, but I am making progress for the first time in a VERY long time. Dressing for myself and not for others' eyes is such a huge mindset shift. I look forward to reading and learning more from you!
AMY!!! Thank you so much, and looking forward to our try on session this week! It is certainly a process, and ANY progress is something to be proud of. 😘
Yay! Can't wait to devour all that you share. Love you!
Aw, thanks for always being a sounding board and moral support!! 😘
So happy your Substack just popped up in my recommendations (despite my trying to reduce the number of emails I subscribe to, oops). I'm also an INFJ and introvert with two kids and parenting challenges and all the things, and I already feel like I get you, just from this intro. Look forward to reading more!
Aw, so happy you're here! (and I so get the email overwhelm...)
I am so glad I came across your Substack, Dacy! I am 34 and after 2 kids and discovering and embracing intuitive eating, I am struggling to recognize my own body and to figure out what is comfortable and my personal style. After weaning from breastfeeding in January, I have gained weight and had to buy another round of new clothes that fit comfortably. All of that to say, I have been hoping to come across a community discussing all of these things and supporting each other in these new mindsets!
I'm so glad you're here!