what to do with clothes that don't fit
do you have the new year decluttering bug?
Decluttering and calmifying (not a word but it is now) my own home and closet is something that occupies a big piece of my brainspace and energy. If calmifying your closet is one of your 2026 intentions as well, here are a few of my tips, along with some gentle encouragement.
A note: I don’t like the word purge for this process. In addition to a negative connotation with disordered eating behavior, it also sounds like a frenzied process when we’re going for a slow, calm, intentional process.
Step 1: What’s the vibe?
Before you ever get into your closet, you should have a general sense of the vibe you’re going for. This might seem unnecessary when all you’re itching to do is get in and start clearing, but it’s wasted time if you don’t do this first. For instance, if your style is boho-chic, pencil skirts are not going to get a whole lot of action and it’s better to know this going in. (Not sure what your personal style is? Check out my post on defining your style here.)
Notes of encouragement:
It’s ok if I’m not sure what I love yet. As I explore and experiment, I’ll learn about myself and my preferences.
My style doesn’t have to include what other people think I should wear.
Step 2: the practical stuff
Another step that’s often missed is just getting things ready so that you don’t end up overstimulated crying on the floor in a pile of clothes. Here’s how to do it:
Make sure most items are clean and home from the dry cleaners. This also means you’ll have to do laundry!
Block off 2-3 hours in your week. I know this can be hard. Remember that this is time for you. It’s investing some time now so that getting dressed later will be faster, easier, and less stressful. Cancel some social plans, get a babysitter, do what you have to do. Depending on the number of items you have in your wardrobe, you probably won’t complete your editing in this time, but it’ll give you a good start.
Clear some physical space. You’ll need to be able to spread out a bit. Make sure your bed is clear. If you can get access to a wardrobe rack, it will make things much easier because you’ll be able to spread things out that may be jammed into a closet.
Designate spaces for categories like Maybe, Donate, Sell, Repair. Anything that you love, wear, and want to keep will just go right back in the closet. You can use boxes, baskets, bins, or just areas on your floor or bed.
Notes of encouragement:
I don’t have to do it all today.
By taking small steps, I’ll make progress without getting overwhelmed
Step 3: the low hanging fruit
We are not going to make final decisions in this step. All we’re going to do is make quick decisions: yes, no, or maybe. Anything that takes you more than a few seconds to decide about goes in the “maybe” pile.
Choose a small section of your closet to start with. If you have a wardrobe rack, pull out a section to work with and move it to the rack. Even though I often do, you do not have to take everything out! Look at every item. Decide which category it goes in and move right on to the next. Remember, you’re not dealing with the “maybes”, so don’t spend any energy worrying about them now.
Notes of encouragement:
By letting go of clothes that don’t work for me, I’m allowing my true needs to be met.
It’s ok if this process feels hard. Clothes can stir up a lot of emotions.
Step 4: the hard part
In this step, we’re going through the “maybe” pile. These are pieces that you feel like you should wear and yet you don’t. Things you’re saving for the one occasion they might be appropriate for but realistically will never happen. Things that you spent money on but never wore. Things that only go with one other piece in your wardrobe or that require purchasing something new before you can wear it. Things that make no sense for your lifestyle (all of these stumbling blocks are covered in depth in my group program). And a category that comes up in most women’s closets: clothes that don’t fit anymore.
Something I’ve been thinking about lately: remember the grandmothers or elders in your life? When you were a kid, did you enjoy looking through old photo albums to see what your grandmothers looked like when they were younger? Wasn’t it hard to believe that the person in the photo could possibly be the same person who was sitting with you? They looked completely different. Sure, there are a few women who really do look the same and stay the same size, but those are the exception, not the rule. If all evidence points to almost every older woman having gone through these transformations, why do we expect ourselves to be exempt from that?
Here’s a quick1 little decision tree:
Notes of encouragement:
I want to have less in my closet so that I feel calm when I go to get dressed, and in order to do that, I have to let go of things
It’s ok for me to take up space in the world and I don’t have to wear things to make my body appear smaller.
Disclaimer: this is a neat summation of the process, when it’s actually a long, draining one for most people. Don’t get discouraged if this takes a while! Give yourself grace when it feels hard.
Coming soon: the answers to your closet edit questions.
P.S. I know the Instagram video linked above has 5 steps and this post only has 4 — the 5th one is just putting everything back!
Actually, this took FOREVER, so please share far and wide
I hate "purge" too! I tried to champion the word "prune" as an alternative to "decluttering" or "editing" because its definition feels more precise: “To reduce, especially by eliminating superfluous matter” or even the gardener’s definition, “to cut off or cut back parts for better shape or more fruitful growth.”
In the decision tree I especially like this -
"Do I like it, do I wear it (even once a year), does it fit my lifestyle?"
"Yes."
"Put it back in the closet."
This goes against the grain of much that I've read. The recommendation is generally if you haven't worn it in a certain amount of time, get rid of it. Living in a climate with four distinct seasons (although spring comes and goes so fast you can twist your neck trying to see it), it's very easy not to wear EVERYTHING in my closet within a year's cycle. While I've decluttered closets three times now, I did not give away several items I love, but didn't wear last summer. Mostly last summer it was too hot to wear much of anything other than loose fitting, white, cotton dresses. So, thanks for permission to keep the black, cotton, sleeveless, maxi dress with the plunging neckline that I had tailored last year (so that the neckline wasn't so "plunge.")