style story: josh miller
on personal adornment rituals and avant garde, androgynous, mystical, and magical style
This is style stories, an interview series where I ask guests about their relationship to clothes over the course of their life and how external influences have shaped it. I focus on the ways that women are able to reject societal expectations on what they should wear. Every guest answers the same questions, in the style of Proust's Questionnaire.
Josh came onto my radar in our Favorite Outfit Friday threads. They popped up with some of the most creative and dramatic outfits I’ve seen on Substack. I was intrigued, so I checked out their Substack and their work and knew that there must be a fascinating story behind their style. I wasn’t wrong.
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Q: Introduce yourself, your pronouns, your work, and how you spend your time.
My name is Josh Miller (they/he) and I’m a nonbinary person based in Denver, CO. I’ve always loved Walt Whitman’s words, “I contain multitudes.” For me, this includes being a queer changemaker, a multi-disciplinary artist, outdoor explorer and public speaker. My work is grounded in the belief that being visible can shift culture, and that sharing our stories can be the catalyst that changes how people see and move through the world.
Over a decade ago I co-founded the nonprofit IDEAS xLab with my now-husband Theo Edmonds in Louisville, KY. I am now the Co-Executive Director of IDEAS xLab with my friend and colleague Hannah Drake, and our primary initiative is (Un)Known Project, which uses art and community collaboration to unearth and honor the names and stories of enslaved people in America and the global African diaspora.
I have been on a journey to uncover my queerness and how I want to move through the world, which has included a focus on the ritual of adornment and the role that imagination plays in shaping who we are. Through the creation of Wearable Photos (printing my photography on silk and chiffon that can be worn as everything from a scarf to a sarong and more) and launching my new series Adorned in Imagination, along with searching out designers whose work feels liberatory, I am continuously venturing beyond what I know to evolve and become - again and again.
Whenever I can be, I’m outdoors, trekking up the mountains in Colorado, cycling down winding passes and exploring new places.
Q: What was your style like when you were a child?
I loved playing dress up when I was little. I wore the princess dress and the princess’ cape. I was the cowboy, and at other times, Cinderella. A sleeveless shirt and cowboy boots were a staple in my wardrobe for a number of years along with cutoff denim shorts. I am the oldest of five children, and as I got older, I loved getting my sisters ready for church, in part, because they could wear so many of the things that were off limits to me.
Q: Growing up, what messages were you given about what you should or shouldn’t wear (and from whom or where do you think those messages came)?
I grew up in a conservative religious community. There was always a “You should…” or “You shouldn’t…” waiting for you around every turn. Boys wear polos, girls wear dresses. Boys wear penny loafers, girls wear ballerina flats. And of course, boys don’t do ballet, or they are considered gay. It was always my dream to dance ballet… more on that later. It came from adults and from kids who were reinforcing what we were all being socialized to believe - there is a specific role you have to play or there is something wrong with you and you will be excluded for it. I grew up in the days of the Abercrombie catalogue and the exploding popularity of diet coke with lime. The combination of seeing the static figures of models and regularly hearing about dieting and weight loss was a toxic brew that further impacted my relationship to my identity, style, and body.
Q: How has your style evolved since you were younger and what phases have you gone through with your style (i.e. high school grunge phase, early working days business casual phase, etc)?
I was homeschooled until 10th grade, so my style evolved from cowboy to preppy-churchgoer, to a variation of emo (Yes, I had the JNCO jeans, and they were awesome), and then skewed preppy(ish) again as I shifted to attend high school. It was during my senior year when a new friend painted my face with makeup for the first time. At this point, I had been outed as gay, moved from the Chattanooga, TN area to southern Indiana to live with my aunt and cousins, and enrolled in public school for my senior year. You can hear more about this time period in my TEDx talk. I started exploring across the gender binary when it came to clothing and makeup, and became even more flamboyant in college. By the time I shifted into professional settings in my early 20s, I started to retreat backward, covering the parts of queerness that were challenging for people. The makeup, the femme attire. I rocked bow ties and kept my hair short, and coped with alcohol to try and deal with the disconnect between my outer and inner worlds.
Over the past ten years, which included being sober from alcohol for more than 7 years, I’ve been on a journey to uncover the queer parts of myself. I dress much more avant garde, androgynous, and mystical/magical. I think a lot about the books I read growing up, Lord of the Rings being a favorite, and how much my style harkens back to those worlds, or the artwork I used to love of Greek and Roman statues draped in beautiful fabric. It’s all coming full circle. I’ve been really focused on understanding my personal adornment ritual, how it shapes the way I step into the world, and how learning about the stories of the pieces I collect and the designers who made them expands my aperture and imagination.
Q: How have external pressures to conform to the ideal standard of beauty and the thought of how others view you affected your style?
I clutched dualling beauty standards tight to my chest for a long time, a mashup of both male and female beauty ideals and gender norms that were completely impossible to meet. Everything from body shape and proportions to where bulges should and shouldn’t be, to issues with acne and the urge to grow out my hair. In high school I started having challenges with disordered eating grounded in unrealistic body image expectations and rampant diet culture, and that was yet another layer that really shaped how I felt in my body, how I viewed my body as good or bad. After college and grad school I started running marathons and working out. This began my journey to finding myself in the outdoors, and in the ballet studio. The former director of Louisville Ballet was a friend, and when I asked him if I could take classes as a beginner, he told me they had ones for adults. I asked him about their approach to body and weight, and he talked about having a strength-based philosophy. It was such a helpful mental shift! While I only got to take about 6-months of classes before COVID-19 disrupted life as we knew it, what I learned - whole-body connection - how to ground down and lift up at the same time, these new ways of relating to my body and to strength will stay with me forever. You can explore more about that specific experience here.
Q: How have your sense of style and shopping habits shifted along with changes in your body?
I am grateful that my journey and intentional work over the past decade has been transformative in how I relate to my body and how I express myself through style and adornment. First, I was able to step into my identity as a nonbinary person in the past 18-months, being able to name that, and release the label “man” was a huge shift. Second, I started believing that I had the power to imagine myself into existence, I could search out these beautiful pieces no matter who they were designed for and put them together in new and creative ways. I collaborated with Gunnar Deatherage on custom suits and outfits for the Kentucky Derby (I lived in Louisville, KY from 2007-2021) and started collecting pieces of jewelry that made me feel courageous and beautiful. I’ve also seen how travel and cross-cultural experiences can further expand how we relate to style, color, and fit, and how we celebrate different body types.
The Advocate published a piece I wrote last year called “Ventures into the Wild – I am an explorer not a runner, a human not a man.” In the piece I talk about how these revelations, this synthesis [of learning, of experience and expansion], has been like delving into the filing cabinets of my mind and pulling out dusty files labeled “man” and “runner.” Opening them to find that the contents were outdated, and based on faulty research, with pages of contradicting edits in pencil and red ink, and sliding them into the recycling bin. Creating space for new files and new mindsets to fill that void.”
When it comes to shopping, I have been very focused on independent designers, especially designers I can meet and engage with. I love searching out designers when I travel, because the added layer of the memory of the trip further enhances my relationship to the pieces I collect, like the earrings and ring from Cassandra Shaw I got in Puerto Vallarta, on the trip my husband and I got engaged while skydiving. Or, the Rick Owens boots I found for 50% off in Dublin for my birthday. Or, going into Backstage 46 in Barcelona and - for one of the only times in my life - being in a space where it felt like everything was actually designed for me. The designers I got pieces from including Mesnikovich, CraXittude, and Antonio Rodriguez are all people I’m connected with online and who are participating in my new series. My friend Koya Nyangi in Denver founded the African Creators Festival and brings in African designers every year. It’s been amazing to meet them, to see their pieces, and now to have them as part of my collection. All of these personal memories imbue my collection with new layers of beauty and meaningful, and that’s part of what I have been exploring through Adorned in Imagination.
Q: What barriers do you encounter in trying to express your style? Are there any situations or spaces you feel your style prohibits you from accessing or gives you better access to?
One of the barriers I face is related to the fact that I have always used the restroom with urinals, yet, when a stranger meets me at this stage in my life, 98% of them assume I am a woman. There are times when this feels dangerous, there are times when people have stood in my way and blocked the door to the bathroom or verbally questioned why I am there. This is one of the biggest challenges currently.
Because of how I carry myself which has been described as “regal” and “poised,” I know that my presence in some spaces commands a different level of attention and respect that has been an asset.
Q: Do you have any style icons? Who are they?
I admire Jordan Roth’s style. The way they move through the world feels most akin to how I am stepping out of the door each day. I’m always grateful when I find people who are such advocates for self-expression and love a fabulous hand-made ensemble, because for so many years, I was just wondering, when will I find the people who embody what I believe deep down I can be? I remember going to New York Fashion Week in 2012, and at that time it was still shocking to people to see a gay man in makeup, over the knee boots and femme attire and accessories. Yet there I was, just being me. Think about how far we’ve come!
Q: How would you define your current relationship to clothes and style?
Beyond what I have already shared, I would describe my style as avant garde, as global and celestial, as an amalgamation and deeply rooted in the past and future.
Q: What makes your style authentic to who you are today?
It is authentic to me because each day, I am imagining myself into existence through the ritual of adornment, in how I put everything together, and how it engages with my body and spirit.
Q: Do you wear anything that’s considered unflattering or unconventional?
I have pieces that could be considered unconventional… I don’t expect that every piece is going to be easy or convenient to wear, and I do love it when they make a bold statement!
Josh, thank you so much for sharing yourself and your writing with us!
Go subscribe to Josh’s wonderful newsletter here and follow them on Instagram here. Here are style stories from Virginia Sole-Smith, Virgie Tovar, Jessica Defino, Frankie de la Cretaz, Ajiri Aki, Erika Veurink, Amanda Richards, Shana Minei Spence, Jess Kirby, Bri Campos, Shira Gill, Sushmita Šipraga, and Emma Eisenberg.
Paid subscribers, read on for 3 of Josh’s favorite wardrobe items.